Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I carry him

I lift him out of the deep bathtub. Wrap him in towels. Carry him to his room and cuddle him while he dries enough for pajamas. For one small half-hour, he is my baby. Everytime I carry him in my arms I think, "This may be the last time. This may be the last time. Smell his hair. Cuddle him close. Hold him tight."



One foot to go and he will be as tall as me. Who knows how many days I have left before he thinks he's too old to cuddle with me, too old to be carried, too old to be my baby.



I carry him and cuddle him and coddle him on bath night. Which is slowly becoming shower night, getting closer to the day when he does it all himself. Getting closer to the day when he no longer calls me mama. Getting closer to the day when he calls me mooooooooom, complete with eyeroll and head toss.



I refuse to hold him back, but I'm taking my chance while I can get it. I carry him, I cuddle him, I hold him tight.



For one small half-hour. My baby.

13 comments:

DevilMacDawg said...

Beautiful, but you made me cry!!!

3carnations said...

That was a great post. I keep thinking similar things. My son asks to be carried, and as I lift up that 41 pound boy I think "He's getting a little big to be carried..." but really I am grateful he's not too big to ask to be carried, and I carry him anyway.

AAYOR said...

Are you TRYING to make me sob in my latte?!!?


Loved this.

Madeleine said...

Also teary.

I can't carry my girl anymore, and it makes me sad.

But yesterday, on the way home from the school bus, she leaned against me as I put my arm around her shoulder, closer than usual, while she told me about the last day of school. Then, after a block or so, she eased away, ready to stand tall again. Neither of us commented on it, but I loved that feeling.

Ramblin' Red said...

This is why I'm glad that my Punkinhead is on the shrimpy side...because I can still carry him and hold him like that. LMNOB is getting all lanky and gangly and heavy, and these moments are harder and harder to get. So we braid hair and paint nails, but it is so different!

jo(e) said...

Oh, this made me feel nostalgic. My oldest son is over six feet tall ... it's been awhile since I could carry him anywhere.

Mummy/Crit said...

Oh yeah, you got me too, as I sit here holding my baby who won't sleep any other way than in my arms right now. i remind myself that it is the most important thing to hold them close while we still can. I need to snuggle D'Arcy more while he still lets me!

susan said...

I'm so relieved to read this: I carry my girl every chance I get. They are only little for a while, and I'm loving every minute of it (even as I love seeing the independence grow, too).

KLee said...

Considering that Offspring has been too big for me to lift for YEARS, this made me a little nostalgic and teary, too. At 12, she's already taller than a lot of adults. I guess that's what comes from having 2 tall parents.

kathy a. said...

this is so sweet.

my baby boy [now 21 and fully on his own] is having his wisdom teeth out in july. i insisted he come home, so i can take care of him. and, he is going to do that.

no way can i carry him, but he'll be needing his mama.

purple_kangaroo said...

Beautiful post

Magpie said...

I say to my girlie "who's my favorite baby?" just about every day.

sweet post - i know those feelings well.

jenn said...

Oh, I think I'll have to snuggle Malcolm tonight - after it cools down enough to do it without soaking him in sweat.

Every morning he will fuss until I hold him on the couch so he can sleep for a few more hours and I watch HGTV.

*sniff*

He'll be seven weeks old on Tuesday.