That I really have no clue what I look like. I see other people and can tell them how they look and what clothes look good on them and even go to a rack of clothes on hangers, pull 7 dresses off them, send an acquaintance into a dressing room with them and be spot on about ALL 7 DRESSES.
I could be a personal shopper. I have that talent. I'm just sayin'.
But I have no real sense of how I look. None.
I'm still surprised to see myself in the mirror or on film.
The parts of my body I see most (legs and arms) look exactly the same as they did when I was 95 lbs and a Si cup. Let me repeat that..My arms and legs are EXACTLY the same as they were when I was 30 pounds lighter. They are what I see when I'm not looking in a mirror.
The rest of my body has changed and I can't tell what it looks like. Which is why I feel like it's two bodies sewn together: the arms and legs from the body I still think I have and the core from the body I really do have.
I expected my body to change as I grew older. I did. I expected that my middle would thicken, that things would sag or be less elastic. I expected I would wear larger pants sizes but that my bras would stay basically the same (if perhaps more supportive). Instead I find that my pants sizes have stayed static for the last...oh...8 or maybe 10 years (barring maternity) and my bras that have grown ever bigger. I didn't expect or want to stay looking like I did at 16 or even at 26. But I had a concept of what I would look like as an older person. I expected to look like my mother. I expected to have her body. Instead, I find myself in my Grandma Hilda's body, and she died when I was 5, so I can't ask her about her experiences. I don't know if her rack continued to expand forever.
Do you have a true sense of what you look like? Do you look like you imagined you would when you got to be the age you are?
Through My Glasses, Dorkily
6 years ago