He's just a loon.

Me: "Well, Muffin Man, it looks like you're not listening. So I think we just need to go home."
MM (shrieking): "But I want to go to Costco!!!!!"

Also seen at APL's

Overall, Your Observation Skills Get: B+

Your senses are pretty sharp (okay, most of the time) And it takes something big to distract you!

How Observant Are You?

Seen at Angry Pregnant Lawyer's

Your English Skills:

Grammar: 100%

Punctuation: 100%

Spelling: 100%

Vocabulary: 100%

Does Your English Cut the Mustard?

Housekeeping - UPDATED

There's some stuff I need to clean out of my brain:

1. Everybody please head over to Jenn's page to congratulate her for finishing her thesis and defense.

2. Purple Kangaroo is breathlessly anticipating the arrival of her third child, please go over and give her some support.

3. BrooklynGirl is looking for advice, go on over and help her out too.

4. Corndog seems to be having self-esteem issues - can you believe he actually thinks he is writing without humor?

5. I think genevieve (her comment is in there somewhere) should start a blog. She's obviously erudite and witty. All those in favor, say "Aye".

6. Muffin Man was dry all night for the second night in a row, which makes 3 out of 4 nights. I'm giddy.

7. Song that is in my head right now? To the tune of Eine Kline Nachtmusik - "Please don't play your violin at night. Wolfgang, go to bed. Turn out the light. But I must play my violin. At night my violin must be beneath my chin...." From Beethovan's Wig.

8. Updated to add: Welcome KLee to the blogosphere! Very glad to have you in the neighborhood.

And again.

Dry again last night! Twice in 3 days!

Visions of no more diapers dance in my head. It'll be like a pay-raise. No diapers, no doublers. Swoon.

But I'm getting waaaaayyyy ahead of myself here. I know that. I'll jinx it if I fantasize about it too much.

Words to live by.

Mr. Spock took Muffin Man to school this morning. I left before them and MM raced to the front door so he could let me out. Hugs and kisses were given.

Me: "Bye-bye, Muffin Man. I love you."
Him: "Bye-bye, Mommy. I love you too."
Me: "Have a good day."
Him: "Have a good day."
Me: "Be a good listening boy at school."
Him: "Be a good listening girl at your meeting!"

With a start like that, how could my day not go well?

What's the secret?

So it seems the secret to getting your child toilet-trained is a three-step process.

1. Put your child into underwear at his request on Christmas Day. For the next three months, wash 4 loads of laundry daily. Put your child back into Pull-ups.

2. In June, get told by the director of your son's daycare that she wants to move him up into the older class, but can't until he's toilet-trained. Put him back into underwear.

3. Order Toilet Training in Less than a Day from Amazon.com. By the time it gets delivered to your door, your child will be toilet-trained. Truly. I'm surprised I didn't think to order this earlier. Everyone knows that if you spend money on something that should be easy, you will discover that you didn't need to spend the money.

Who's the little man?

Muffin Man stayed dry all night! Whoohoooo!!!!

And boy, was he amazed at how much pee he put in the potty.

The Meme

1. What were three of the stupidest things you have done in your life? Please note, these things were stupid, but I don't regret them. I couldn't be where I am now if I hadn't done them.

a) Dating and moving in with "Snake" during college. 'Nuff said.
b) Leaving college half-way through. See a.
c) Putting off learning to drive until I was 27.

2. At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life?

a) Muffin Man. Followed closely by Mr. Spock.

3. If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick up five people to dine with, who would you pick?

a) Jane Austen
b) Georgette Heyer
c) Laura Ingalls Wilder
d) Frances Hodgsen Burnett
e) Josephine Tey

4. If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?

a) That everyone would actually learn how to live and let live. No more shooting at each other.
b) That the world in general and my country in particular would make a priority of universal health care. No more dying of curable diseases, no more infant mortality from preventable causes. And oh! No more starving to death while we're at it.
c) I'll talk to Mr. Spock about this one later.

5. Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.

Regret:
a) That there is no viable public transportation to get from where I live into downtown DC.
b) We need a closer bookstore.

Avoid:
a) The Beltway. Especially on a rainy Thursday evening.
b) The weird little pub across the street.

6. Name one event that has changed your life. There are many, many answers to this one. Hard to choose just one.

a) When I was in my early 20's, I got hugely angry with MakesBooksForGrandkids and, by extension, SingsLullabys. I was so angry that I stopped talking to them. A month went by, then two. I couldn't communicate my anger, I couldn't communicate with them at all. After a point, it got so that I couldn't pick up the phone when I wanted to. What was I going to say? "Sorry I've been avoiding you like the plague"?

The upshot was I went into therapy so that I could re-establish communication with them. I missed them. I was angry but I didn't want to cut them out of my life. After 6 months of therapy and 10 months of no contact, I was finally able to write a letter to my dad. I stayed in therapy for over 3 years.

I infinitely regret the pain of that separation, but it was a huge catalyst for change in my life. My therapist helped me get my shit together in so many ways. I honestly could never have been in this marriage, could never have been the mom I am, could never have achieved a healthy adult relationship with my parents if I hadn't spent that time in counselling.

7. Tag 3 people.

Mr. Spock
Preludes and Nocturnes
Angry Pregnant Lawyer (have you been tagged yet?)

Lunchtime at the new job

While I now have a desk and a computer, I don't have any developer software yet and so can't do my job. I do have some specs to read and I am reading them, but boy howdy! I'm dying for some work here!

Oh! And I still don't have a phone.

Spent part of the afternoon yesterday in the neighborhood kid-friendly pool with Muffin Man. We mostly bounced up and down in the deep end (4'6'' deep) and we went underwater once! He did some good floating (holding on to his noodle for dear life, while I held on to the noodle.) I must figure out a way to carve out enough time to get him swimming lessons.

Yesterday evening, after we got home from the pool, he said he needed to go pee. So he left Mr. Spock and me in his room and we listened while he went trotting down the hall to our bathroom (which shares a wall with his bedroom).

We heard him:

Raise the toilet seat
Tinkle
Roll out some toilet paper
Flush
Put the seat and lid back down
Move his foot-stool (actually his old potty)
Turn on the water
Grab the soap (the metal soap dish is rather noisy)
Sing the Alphabet song
Turn off the water
Pause (we assumed he dried his hands)
Trot back to his bedroom.

We were so proud and praised him to the skies.

Coming soon: The meme Andrea tagged me with.

I'm here! I'm here!

Just busy at home, still computerless at work, and working on that Meme that Andrea tagged me with. At my last job I could read y'all while I was eating lunch at work, but this week, not only do I not have a computer at work, I'm sitting in my boss's office. And while you'd think that having a shorter commute would mean I'd have more time at home to read y'all, I'm actually using the extra time to spend with my son.

So I'll be doing more writing this weekend and in the meantime, big hugs to you all. You are truly very dear to me. I miss you when you don't update and I feel lonely when you're on vacation.

And to Mr. Spock, I love you loads.

Okay, I am allowed to bring the 'fridge.

Still no desk, no phone, no computer. Got an e-mail address, but no way to look at e-mail.

But who cares? Fifteen Minutes! In RUSH HOUR!!!!

Nu? Job?

No badge, no desk, no computer, no phone, no 'fridge, no microwave. Not allowed to bring my cute little Sharper Image 'fridge from home.

But who cares? Fifteen minutes from my house, people!!!!

How much time did it take?

A little under 7 hours!
To do what?
Finish Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince.
And?
Pretty good for a book that would have been better if it were only half as long.....

It's under discussion at Phantom Scribbler's.

Visitors

TellsDonaldDuckStories and QuiltsAlot are here for a visit. TDDS has already lived up to his name.

Muffin Man was eager to show off his new potty skills and his tastefully decorated room (he put up his own artwork all by himself which goes very nicely with the stickers that now adorn his changing station (rewards for potty successes). I'll post a picture soon.)

Yesterday, while he was upstairs hanging his pictures, I was downstairs starting dinner.

"Mommy!"
"Yes?"
"What are you doing?"
"I'm making noodles with pesto."
....
"Mommy!"
"Yes?"
"Can I have noodles with pesto, too?"
"Yes."
"But there's no hurry, Mama."

And he ate it all, too.

What's the word?

Please leave a one-word comment that you think best describes me. It can only be one word. No more. Then copy & paste this in your blog so that I may leave a word about you.

from Beanie Baby (see Andrea? I got around to it eventually!)

I'm a Ravenclaw too!

I'm a Ravenclaw!

spotted at Phantom Scribbler's

POOP! (Warning...contains graphic description of grossness)

He tried. Really, he tried. But he thought he could do the poop thing the way he does the pee thing.

Standing up. Only, y'know, facing in the other direction.

And, as I've said before, he likes his privacy. So I didn't know. I swear to God, I didn't know he was gonna try this.

Then he yelled, "Mama!!!! POOPY!!!! Mama!!!!!"

Now, to give him credit, half did get into the toilet (and boy howdy, the size of that thing!) and half was on the floor at the foot of the toilet, after having slid down the front of the toilet leaving a trail behind.

There was poop on his butt, on his legs, on his feet, on his shorts, his Nemo underpants, his suspenders, his hands, his tummy, his penis, the sink, the towel, and the wall. Thank goodness he'd taken off his shoes and socks when we got home.

I used wipes and more wipes and more wipes. And then the toilet overflowed.

Hey, I told you, it was BIG.

Bathtime!

I can't pick one...

One of my managers is a minister. He doesn't have a church, so he considers our team to be his "flock". Every week he tacks on a homily to the end of the agenda for the weekly staff meeting. The agenda that goes out not only to our internal team, but also to our clients.

Following are some summaries of the two most hideous:

1. PG-13 and R rated movies are like "dog poop brownies" ("Now when this father's kids want to do something or see something they shouldn't, he merely asks them if they would like some of his special dog poop brownies -- and they never ask about it again.")

2. "Help Is Sometimes A Deterrent". This wonderful bit of word-smithing came out for the meeting after a shit-bomb that we had warned all our managers about months in advance finally went off. The tag line in that little beauty? "Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we went through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us."

Yeah. Thanks. Next time, maybe you'll listen to us. (uh, that would be a "no.")

Well now, that's better.

He was back to being Cooperative Boy last night and this morning. Phew. He even leaned back in the bathtub to get his hair wet (with my hand under his back). That was a definite no-no in the past. But last night he wanted to do it - and then he wanted to do it again! Yay!

Gotta start packing up my stuff from my lovely windowed office here at my current job to move to my new job. I'm looking forward to the new job and better commute, but boy will I ever miss this office.

Proud, yet exasperated.

On the plus side: Muffin Man is potty trained, he likes his "privacy" when he's doing his thing. He pees standing up. At the real, honest-to-goodness toilet! He wipes. He washes his hands (with a reminder, and a bit of supervision). He flushes. He's such a big boy!!!!

With every silver lining, a cloud:

He's being a real pain in my ass.
"I don't want that shirt - I want this shirt! NO! NOT THE SHIRT I JUST SAID! THE OTHER ONE!"
"I want my Nemo underwear, not that Nemo underwear! The OTHER Nemo underwear!"
"NOOOOOOOO!!!"

And that's just this morning.

I'm giving him alot of leeway because of the whole potty thing, but he's still resorting to hitting. And then he laughs at me. And that just drives me flipping crazy.

And he's normally such a sweetie. A loving, hugging, kissing boy. Seriously, he says and does the most wonderful things. Most of the time.

I like Phantom Scribbler's way of dealing with LG today. Perhaps I'll try that tomorrow.

Busy, busy weekend

Saturday morning: SoupAndBread followed by a visit with APL & AB. So much fun!

Saturday afternoon: Naps all around, followed by a visit to Wegman's and dinner.

Sunday morning: Brunch, followed by meeting up with Mr. Spock's sister, her friend, and her friend's two kids at the mall to go shopping for clothes for Muffin Man and friend's son to wear at Mr. Spock's sister's wedding this Labor Day weekend. They are going to be ring-bearers.

Sunday afternoon: Sent Mr. Spock and Muffin Man home for nap, continued shopping.

Sunday evening: Dinner at sister-in-law's house, followed by bath for MM and bed (I finished tucking him in at 10:00 PM!)

Results of shopping: Very good. Got complete outfit for MM.

PT Update: Dry all day 10 days in a row!!!

Oh. My. God. London, I love you.

Read this from the London News Review.

Found via Underpaid Kept Woman.

I still don't want to talk about it.

But Susie Sunshine says it well and so does Scrivener and Angry Pregnant Lawyer and OTBKB.

More Meeting Haiku

Donuts smell so good
Chocolate covered, cream-filled
Fried yeasty goodness.

I'm so not hungry
Why are they...mmmm....tempting me?
Can't I have one bite?

Stop. Don't look, don't touch.
Breathe deep. Remember your goals.
Please, please, don't eat them.

I don't want to talk about it.

And anyway, Phantom Scribbler said it best.

Caught Me

"If, as you live your life, you find yourself mentally composing blog entries about it, post this exact same sentence in your weblog."

seen first at 1B*.

An Open Letter to My Parents

I know you read this blog. How come you never comment?

You may have noticed that I blogged incessantly about your youngest grandson this week. He has crossed a major milestone! Have you nothing to say about that? Come on, come on. Speak up!

Boy, Do I Feel Sheepish

The Phantom Professor has a quiz on her blog that she gave to Sophomores and Juniors at her college.

I'm embarrassed to say that I did not get all of the answers right. One of the three I got wrong I blame on my (mostly dormant) Brooklyn accent.

Houston, We Have Contact!

Dry Days in a Row: 4
Pee standing up?: Check.
Poop in the potty?: Check.
Sitting on the BIG GROWN-UP potty and shunning the little potty?: Check and check.

Go Muffin Man! Go!

So, why the new job?

My current job, the one I'm leaving, is a pretty good one. I've only got the usual amount of headaches from clueless managers (including the one who attaches a sermon to the staff meeting agenda each week). So why am I leaving?

I live in Ashburn, VA - ten minutes west of Dulles Airport. Ashburn is in Loudoun County, the fastest-growing county in the country. I work in Merrifield, just inside the Beltway. If I worked Saturdays I could get to work in 25 minutes.

But I don't work Saturdays. I work weekdays and so does everyone else in this part of the world (our region has been consistantly in the top three worst-traffic regions for the last 5 years). My commute can take anywhere from 35 minutes on an exceptionally good day to 2 hours on an exceptionally bad day. Most days it takes about an hour each way.

My new job is just south of the Dulles Airport. I see the building I'll be working at out the passenger-side window of my car on my commute each morning. The morning of my interview with them it took me 15 minutes in rush-hour to get there. I arrived 45 minutes early (I wasn't taking any chances!).

My worst commuting days will probably never take as long as my best commuting days do now.

I can't begin to describe how much stress I've let go of since agreeing to take the job. Since I'll be hourly for the first 6 months, I could work an hour of PAID over-time every day and still get home earlier than I do now!

Excited/Nervous - Updated

Excited

New job! Short commute! Yay!

Nervous

Muffin Man was dry all day yesterday and today went on the potty at brunch and again before nap! Yay! After we flushed the before nap one down he wanted to go again, very insistant. I thought it was stalling, but...so I let him sit again and it was about 15 minutes and I was getting annoyed and told him to call me when he was done and left the room for awhile and then he got upset and he did pee in the potty after all. So I'm nervous that I may have made him think that the potty's not such a great thing. I hope I didn't make a mistake there.

Update: Seems he's not been inhibited by my before-nap grumps. We had success this afternoon and before bed.

PT Update - Starting to look really good!

Muffin Man stayed dry all day! Went to the potty before and after nap at school and before bed just now!

YAY!!!!!

Stickers and toys!!!

PT Update - Cautiously Ecstatic

Muffin Man went in the potty at school! I was so proud and he was so proud and so I asked him, "What would you like for dinner? You're a big boy who went pee in the potty, so you can choose."
"Pizza. I want to eat pizza at the pizza store." he answered.

So we went to Bravo Pizza and ate pizza (mediocre, but they sell it by the slice) and half-way through he said, "I need to make pee-pee."

So I took him to the rest room and he said, "You first, Mommy."

So I went first and then he pulled down his pants and put the portable seat on the toilet and I lifted him up onto the grown-up seat and...

He peed in the grown-up toilet in the bathroom at the pizzaria!

Strawberry ice-cream cones for everybody!!!!