Winter Holiday Extravaganza Answers

If I could, I'd invent a Transporter, like they have on Star Trek, and damn it, the world needs one because, that way I'd be able to visit my sister more often, not to mention seeing all y'all face-to-face.

I sometimes buy organic strawberries, because it is/they are more like the me I want to be than the me that I am.

If you came over to my house to play and touched my laptop without asking me first I'd be a little bit mad at you forever. (Not really, but it's the only thing I could think of that doesn't live in my underwear drawer.)

The colour/s that my high school used to paint the classrooms makes me want to shave my eyeballs with a cheese grater.

The colour/s of the water off Kauai is/are so beautiful that when I see them, a beam of light comes down and I hear a choir sing.

Most tv shows that in any way include eating bugs makes me gag, feel it in my mouth for a minute, and then swallow it back down rather than spit it out (or else I just don't like it, but I'm too nice to say it.)

I might get sick or die if I touch or ingest cilantro, or look at Paris Hilton.

The Doodlebops gives me the willies and I might need to consider a frontal lobotomy if I even think about it further.

I love the feel of flannel so much I want to hump it like a puppy on a sofa pillow.

No one should have to watch me eat Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ice Cream, because then I might consider being polite enough to share (not!), and I don't want to share it.

I'm a grown-up now, so I don't have to eat beets any more, and you can't make me.

If I could invent a way to permanently coat my nostril hairs with this scent, I'd be my own biggest customer: chicken soup simmering on the stove (but I'm really an unscented kind of a girl.)

Three things I like that anyone might like: I'm going with Andrea's answer here (and I do like the Bing Crosby Christmas stuff): european chocolate, classical holiday music (classical as in the musical style, not as in 'the classics' like Bing Crosby or whatever--I mean, I like that stuff too, but who else does?), and homemade baked goods.

Three things I like that nobody else in the world likes: Liver and onions, having grey hair, Frances Hodgsen Burnett's books for Adults.

I have TOO MANY/TOO MUCH OF clutter around the house, and not enough time or motivation to clean up.

Okay, we know the best things in life aren't things, but these are the best things in life if there are going to be best things: books. Lots and lots of books.

When people have kind, sweet and nice things about me, they're usually talking about Muffin Man. When they say I'm very silly, they're usually right too.

It's true, I'm a good student. I'm learning to be proud of believe it.

If I could have any talent in the world, I'd choose cooking and hosting like Martha Stewart.

You are given a day and a no-limit credit card to spend in one of these places, childfree. Choose one, or write your own:

A gourmet food store, because you are what you eat. It's all about feeding yourself and your soul. (and a book store. with every book ever in print.)

And here's the last chance to make sure that you're not going to get a "Jelly of the Month" club membership when you're expecting your bonus for a swimming pool:

It is important to me that the items chosen for me be fun for you to get.
(Examples: respect my Wal-Mart boycott, are vegan, aren't made by child or sweatshop labour, can be stuffed down my pants)

And

If I could suggest that you read only one post from my archives, this would be it: Dreaming of a Ham Sandwich

And

If I were to name the Holiday of my choice for this exchange, it would be:
Christmas, even though I'm Jewish, I'm completely a Christmas girl! (Please feel free to make one up - but this is your chance to say "Um, I'm Jewish but that doesn't mean give me dreidels!" or "More Santa decorations please - I only have thirty-seven now." or "Winter and gifts yes; religious denominations, no - if only all cards could be like those politically correct corporate holiday wishes!" if you want to.)