Question for our times: Video Conferencing Preparation

Hi! Dusting off the blog to ask a community question:

If you teleconference at home, do you check out your outfit and background on your set-up's camera before you start your day?

I check to see if my top is see-through or looks weird, and I look at the background to make sure there aren't any wadded up tissues or other visible evidence that I'm not a great housekeeper.

We spent time last weekend making the room behind me look as neutral and professional as possible.

Not shown: the side table overwhelmed by nebulizer paraphenalia, and my purse and the file boxes.

So, questions. Do you do this? And also, do you think the pajama shirt I'm wearing in the top picture is okay for professional video conferencing?

Finally, here's a picture of the Sargasso Sea I took when we went on a cruise to Bermuda in 2018. When I'm feeling penned in now, I just look at that horizon and breathe deeply (or as deeply as my asthma lets me.)

Yes. It really was that blue.

Learner's permit

My son holding his temporary permit

In Virginia, you can get your Learner's Permit at 15 years, 6 months. That was yesterday, but there was a two-hour wait at the DMV, so we got there before they opened this morning.

And now I'm all verklempt.

My grandmother's latest poem

My grandmother (who is in her late 90's) writes poetry and has been published in magazines and elsewhere.

Her latest poem got shared around by family, and it's beautiful. Evocative. Heart-breaking. Joyful.

She gave me permission to share it with you here.

I’M SAYING GOODBYE TO MY BODY

I’m saying goodbye to my body,

long ago disdained

for size of breasts, shape of legs,

now nudging me downhill all the way.

I’m saying goodbye to my body,

ancient collaborator with

the smell of new-cut grass,

the thrust of arm throwing a ball,

the velvet feel of East New York’s slates

under my speeding roller skates,

the taste of June’s wild strawberries,

the pull of dancing à la Isadora, à la Martha,

the glory of May Day marching,

the sight of Jenny Lake in the Tetons,

of broom in bloom in the Luberon,

the sweet oasis of Shabbos,

the pride of menstrual flow,

the head-loosening orgasms,

the glow of babies suckling, the mindful heat of Emily’s poems,

the hug of Sons and Lovers,

the startle of “Sunflowers” hanging in a school,

the wake-up of Mozart’s G-Minor,

the movies subtitled, French and Soviet,

most of all, words, words, words,

jousting among us until 2 o’clock in the morning.

I’m saying goodbye to my body and

its first-time joys,

now recycled into memory.

I’m saying goodbye and thank you.

©Ruth Dropkin

June 2017

My grandmother's memoir of her oldest sister

My grandma wrote a beautiful memoir of her sister Emma. Emma was the oldest of four daughters born to a rabbi and his wife. They immigrated from eastern Europe in the early part of the 20th century.

Here it is, just as she typed it, with her hand-writing on it. Published as 5 jpegs with her permission and also the permission of my cousin, Emma's daughter.

Fifteen (posted a week late, oops)

Silly, charming, taller than me, all hoodies all the time. Was in THREE plays since his last birthday!

Here he is in his high school's production of Radium Girls, playing The Reporter (photo courtesy my friend Erin)

Here he is in the red hat playing Nathan Detroit in his summer camp's production of Guys and Dolls. (photo courtesy my friend Erin, again)

And, of course, he was Iago in his middle school production of Aladdin last spring. 

He went from blue hair

To gold hair

To pink hair 

And back to blue.

He's got a great group of friends, and a terrific sense of humor. I'm proud to be his mom.

So it turns out that one of my favorite muscles has been making me miserable for nearly four decades

Hi! My name is Liz Miller and I have had TMJ for 37 years, ever since I smashed my face into a step in the pool at summer camp and chipped a tooth.

(Hi, Liz!)

In the early years, my mouth would get stuck open, and a chiropractor taught me how to get it back to a position where it would close. But that's all I ever did about it. Through the decades, I've had tension headaches that felt like they started in my neck and wrapped around my head like a big old rubber band of pain, but I never associated them with my jaw.

Various dentists had asked me, "does it cause you pain?" And I'd answer that it only hurt when it would get stuck open (rare) or when it would snap and make me bite myself when I was talking or eating (frequent). And they would mention bite plates and surgery, and I just...never thought it rose to a level of needing to do something about it.

But this year our family has pretty good insurance with a high deductible, and what with one thing and another (including stuff that needs to be done every five or ten years), we seemed like we might go over that deductible, in which case, why not actually do some end of the year medical giving to ourselves? So....I asked my doctor for a referral to an oral surgeon, who told me to get a bite plate (on its way) and some physical therapy.

The physical therapist (who is AWESOME, BTW) measured all sorts of things including how far I could open my mouth without the joint popping out, and how far I could turn my head, and nod my head, and lean my head to each side. And then he had me start doing neck stretches, and shoulder and neck strengthening exercises. "Wait!" I said, "My problem's with my jaw."
"Actually," he replied, "It's with your  sternocleidomastoid" (he also had me do exercises opening and closing my mouth with various levels of resistance).

And I am here to tell you that I hadn't realized how much pain I was living with until I didn't have as much of it anymore. My tension headaches have receded, I have better range of motion, I don't bite myself as often.

It's amazing.

Good old reliable NATHAN NATHAN NATHAN NATHAN NATHAN NATHAN DETROIT

Muffin Man is in Guys and Dolls at his Drama Camp. Guess which roll he's playing?



Go on, guess!

From Gold to Pink

Muffin Man goes from Blue to Gold.

What color will  he choose next? No one knows. But whatever he does, he'll take a terrific selfie.

Well done, Iago!

I realize I'm his mom and totally biased, but he was awesome. SO FUNNY. SO SASSY. 

Fourteen

Blue hair



Pink hoodie


Red velvet cake

On the menu

We're switching things up here at Chez Mystery this year. Christmas dinner will be tomorrow evening. The Thanksgiving Feast will be served Christmas Day. Yes, I know I'm Jewish. Wanna make something of it?

Tomorrow's menu:

• Standing Rib Roast au Jus
• Yorkshire Pudding
• Mashed Potatoes
• Brussels Sprouts and Pearl Onions in a Horseradish Cream Sauce
• Green Beans
• Pumpkin Pie
• Strawberry Shortcake

Do you think that's enough food for three?

Woman of Mystery

Me at the mystery bookstore

I've posted about the bookstore before. Here are some links:

• Why MysteryMommy?
• So why aren't I working at the book store?
• Laura started it
• Book Meme
• Murder Ink is closing
• What I wanted to be when I grew up
• Mr. Spock
• Blogging for donations: Murder Ink

Braces

MM has braces. Did I tell you? He's had his upper ones on since January, lower ones went on yesterday. He's being a total trooper about it. Excellent flossing technique.

This may or may not have anything to do with the fact that I decided to cook a lamb stew last night, where the lamb was tender and the vegetables were falling apart. The whole thing was very tasty and easy on a sore jaw. He's got leftovers in his lunchbox today, too.

I bought a box of Mallomars on Wednesday

I still have some of them left. This is an unprecedented feat of self-control.

Question for the reader: what is your food that, if it's in the house, you will eat it all up?

November 21

Apparently EVERYBODY who is having ANY SORT OF EVENT AT ALL is doing it on November 21. Please. People. There ARE OTHER DAYS TO DO THINGS.

Aaaand I lost

Muffin Man was Beast Boy for Halloween, btw. No need for new pix.

He's in his school's production of Seussical, very cool. I am excited to see it!

Hey, Mystery Mommy, why the heck aren't you posting?

Because I'm doing this instead.

Eight days until the election!

Say hello to Beast Boy!

This weekend was MarsCon, and we did it up in style. Muffin Man wanted to be in the costume contest again, and chose Beast Boy as his character.

Our inspiration

Since we won the Beginner's Division the last time we entered, honor compelled us to enter in the Advanced Division this time.

Which meant we had to kick it up a notch. Or, actually, more than a notch. This time, more than half the costume had to be hand-made. And nicely made at that. This is not a Thrifty, Non-Crafty costume, people.

Muffin Man worked hard practicing his stage routine, to a soundtrack Mr. Spock put together. And Mr. Spock and I spent about 40 hours over several months on the costume.

Mr. Spock does the sewing in our family, and he went above and beyond on this costume. The purple leotard, the belt (including the device on the belt), the cuffs and devices on the gloves, and the cuffs on the shoes are all completely hand-made. He didn't even use a pattern. Engineered from scratch, folks. All the grey fabric you see is that color because he dyed it, It was all originally plain white cotton. The black body suit is an Under Armor compression suit. Mr. Spock added stirrups to the sleeves and leggings to keep them smooth and tight.

I'm particularly pleased that Mr. Spock was able to design this so it wouldn't need a zipper to spoil the line front or back.

Beast Boy Front View

Beast Boy Back View

Beast Boy Side View

I was, as always, responsible for the make-up. Which included painting the boots. For this performance of Beast Boy, the boots are played by a pair of Rugged Outback shoes from Payless. These were darn near perfect. They've got beautiful outlines right where I needed them. We removed the laces, I taped over everything I wanted to stay black, and then painted them with grey and amethyst leather paint.

After several coats of paint, we glued on the Velcro straps. I do think they came out rather well.

After

Before

For Muffin Man's own make-up, I tested out the routine a couple of times at home, and found out that the ears and neck are tough spots to do, and that one should leave the nose for last unless one is going for a Rudolph look. Also, I realized I needed to brighten and widen the eyes, and that a base of chapstick on the lips does wonders.

First attempt at makeup. Including hair gel.

For the contest, we gave ourselves 90 minutes for hair and make-up. First, we pretty much swathed Muffin Man's body in plastic wrap, paper towels, and my own over-sized bathrobe to protect the costume. Then, I put gel in his hair to get that messy look. Next, I did his ears. I've never done prosthetics before, but I watched a lot of videos and did a pretty good job for a first timer!

Then, I used up a can of green hairspray, and deliberately got it on the ears and neck, see tough spots, above.

When I was satisfied with his hair, I began on his face. I used a base of Nyx green primer, all over his face and neck, covered by Mehron green pancake (next time, I'll try their liquid instead. The powder doesn't really last long enough). Because Mehron's green was a tad too dark for what I wanted, I did a highlight layer of Nyx green primal color (not eye safe), which is much lighter. Then I blended in the bright green on his ears with a mix of the two powders. When everything else was green, I put a thick coat of chapstick on his lips and then covered them with Mehron alone, to keep them slightly darker than the rest of his skin.

I used a Super Fat Eye Marker on his brows, and for that little crease between the brows. I brought his brow line out just a bit beyond where it naturally ends.

Through all this, I left his eyes alone. When I was happy with how the rest of the make-up looked, I used a green Jumbo Eye Pencil on his upper eyelids, and a thin darker green pencil next to his upper lashes, bringing the line out beyond his natural eyes. Then I used a white slim eye pencil on his lower lashes and a white jumbo eye pencil on his lower lid. Again, I brought the line out beyond his natural eye. I finished his eyes with a black Super Skinny marker just under where I'd drawn the white.

Then I put a boatload of transluscent fixative powder over the whole thing, and finished it all off by spritzing fixative spray over that.

Finally we unwrapped him and put on his gloves. And went down to be judged, and do the performance, and walk around getting photographed. Not necessarily in that order.

The Beast Boy team, admiring our handiwork

We didn't win the contest this time, but we sure got a huge amount of audience approval and people wanting to take pictures. It was a blast! Plus, we got to see a wee little Dalek (won Best Overall), the cutest little cosplayer EVER (she won the children's division), and a Steampunk Buzz Lightyear.

I'll post a link to the performance video once they post it.

Merry Christmas!

Our tree is covered with ornaments we've made or been given, so it feels like love. I hope your holiday feels like love, too.