Drop-off update

He stayed in his old room all day yesterday and is in the new room with the new teacher today (new for him, she's been at the school for years). He sobbed when I left him there, but I went down the hall and waited and the sobbing stopped. I watched the class on the tv in Miss Director's office and could see him moving around, clutching his two stuffed dogs (Big Worf and Little Worf). I hope he does okay today.

Sigh.

Thank you all for your good thoughts yesterday. I feel so petty obsessing about this after what Katrina did to Louisiana and Mississippi.

It's hard to drive with tears in your eyes

Muffin Man has spent the last 18 months or so in one classroom at his daycare. He's had mostly the same teachers for that whole time.

All summer he was so excited about moving up into the next class (his best friend is there) and being a big boy.

Until today.

"No, Mommy! I want to go to MY room. I don't want to go in this room. This isn't my room! Mommy! Don't leave me! No! No! NOOOOO!"

It didn't help that I was not actually dropping him off in his new room because the teachers for that room don't arrive today until 11:00. Eventually, I let him go back into his old room until his new teachers come in. Then I had to pry his fingers off my neck.

I ended up putting my watch in his pocket. "See, Muffin Man? You have Mommy's watch. Mommy's watch will be with you all day. I'll come and pick you up later. It will all be okay."

"Bring my blanket back in here!!!!" (I'd taken his nap-time gear into the new room, his blanket is a quilt that QuiltsAlot made for him, and he has a flannel sheet too. He snuggles into them at naptime and reads a book quietly because heaven forbid he should actually take a nap at school.)

"Miss Director will bring it to you later. Big hugs and kisses now."

And so I got my hugs and kisses, but boy howdy, was it ever hard to leave him.

Pretty good weekend here

Though I worked most of it. Feh.

We took the safety knob off of Muffin Man's door, he now gets up in the morning and tiptoes into our room, uses the potty and then comes and snuggles with us. We can hear his door open and we watch for him to come in. He pokes his head through the door first and then moves his whole body in once he sees the coast is clear.

He took a really great bath tonight. Very cooperative and happy. Tomorrow he starts in a new classroom at daycare, so exciting!

Poooooooooop!

Yes, Muffin Man did it. He pooped in the potty this morning. He sat there for about 10 minutes "reading" a book, while I was in the next room doing some ironing. He called us in to look and we all admired that adult-sized poop sitting in the adult-sized toilet in our bathroom. I couldn't be prouder.

Muffin Man got a very big sheet of stickers for his very big accomplishment.

Starting to drag

I woke up this morning at 4:00 (combination fizzy brain and sprinkler system starting up). I tried to fall back asleep and finally gave it up at 5:00. Got up, brushed my teeth, decided not to risk waking anyone by taking a shower, got my clothes and got dressed in the guest room. Did some reading of the Washington Post and you bloggers and left, getting to work at 6:15 (and I wasn't the first one here).

I do have a lot of work to do, but I'm starting to drag. The cookies in the cafeteria are stale and coffee's just not doing it for me today. I'm not feeling sleep deprived so much as just bleh.

Memories of being pregnant

Secret Agent Josephine has a post about her first flutter and Brooklyn Girl has a post about feeling like something out of Aliens. And so I've been remembering feeling Muffin Man move around when I was pregnant with him and one particular moment that still gets me giggling.

I was working up until the last day and about a month before I was due, I was standing in a friend's cube, talking about a shower gift she was giving to another pregnant friend. I was standing about 2 feet away from my friend (the one on the right), she was sitting down and her face was about on a level with the top of my huge tummy. While we were talking MM decided to switch positions. On my left side a large bulge popped out of my tummy, slid over to just above my belly button and - whooosh! - disappeared. My friend nearly fell over. She slid her chair as far away from me as she could get.

She still shudders thinking about it.

Dang it! APL got the good title!

We hired a sitter tonight, since Mr. Spock was going to a meeting and I just couldn't miss seeing Corndog play at a local coffee house/pub sort of place. Just. Couldn't. Miss. It.

So, I go to meet APL there and since I got there first, I claimed a table and then started scoping out the musician-type people. Which one would it be? It couldn't be the tall, blonde one sitting at the table next to me. Wrong sex. What about the guy helping out with the sound check? No. He's starting at 7:00 and Corndog starts at 8:00. And besides, he doesn't look like he's out of college and Corndog has two toddlers. And a job. Hey, that guy talking to the sound guy looks like he just said [Corndog's Real Name]. Could it be him? Should I go and ask? But what if it's not? Then I'll look kind of weird, or like I'm picking him up or something.....

Oh! There's APL! I point out my pick for Corndog, she agrees he's a good bet. Right age. Sitting alone. So we go and get some yummy food and go back to our table - actually we decide on a different one and before I could ask her if we should go and talk to our pick, the 7:00 guy starts playing (not bad). And then the tall, blonde chick (Tori Amos wannabe, not bad). The shy, nervous, mousy girl (needs voice lessons, but wrote some good stuff). The cute older, hippy couple (big bass played by a small woman, big man playing small guitar). The southern college boys (good writing, not-so-great singing, and the singer didn't remember the words to his own songs). The guy in the aloha shirt (we thought he was a possible Corndog, but nope). And then...our pick! IT WAS HIM! And boy howdy, can he play! And sing! And write! He's got chops. We shouted and whistled and called out, "CORNDOG!!!"

Then we three sat and talked for over an hour and through a power outage about kids and jobs and commutes and carseats and daycare and zoos and visiting in-laws and whether one person can visit with three different groups of people in one weekend.

If any of you get a chance to see Corndog play, don't miss it. He's great on his blog, but he's even better in person.

Muffin Man and Backyard Girl

We have neighbors who live behind us. They have a little girl who is 5 months younger than Muffin Man. Backyard Girl is Muffin Man's best friend outside of school. He loooooooves her. Yesterday we spent part of the afternoon with her and her Dad at the neighborhood pool and then she came over and helped us make and eat ice cream. MM showed her all his toys and shared his play-doh accessories like a real gentleman. He even shared his scissors with her. This is a really big deal. Seriously.

At the pool, BYG was SWIMMING in the pool. Face in the water and everything. She would jump in and go over her head and then bob up with her head back so her hair would do that perfect-down-the-back thing. She's three! Her dad told us where they take her for lessons, so we'll be taking MM there next Spring.

Comment spam is getting up my nose.

And so I'm following the herd with word verification on comments. Please let me know if this is a huge hassle.

We went to the zoo.

Angry Pregnant Lawyer, Angry Boy (who's really not an angry boy at all. He's so delicious, I could just eat him up, toes and all), Muffin Man and I went to the National Zoo yesterday morning. We had a great time walking around, up hills and down, looking at all the animals we could see. Many of them were sleeping, including a panda bear - all stretched out on its back, scratching its tummy occasionally.

Muffin Man's favorite was the hippo. "The little one or the big one?" I asked. "THE BIG ONE!!!" he shouted. The little one, a pygmy hippo, could have fit in the big one's mouth.

I'm pretty sure that AB's favorite was the river otter. He shrieked with joy everytime it swam near him.

My favorites were the flamingos, so beautifully pink! It's amazing to see something that vibrantly pink occur in nature. Muffin Man wanted to see them play with a yo-yo*.

We also saw a capybara (the world's largest rodent). Those of you who are fans of The Tick may remember that he adopted a capybara, mistaking it for a dog. But really, what they look like is a very, very large hamster -- about 3 feet long and two feet high. It takes a python all of 5 months to digest one.

After the zoo we went out for lunch and APL and I shared two very yummy dishes, a sure sign, we agreed, that we could stay friends with each other. After all, how can you be friends with someone who won't trade bites?

We both kicked ourselves for forgetting to bring cameras (doh!)

And I swear, the parking karma we had was extraordinary. We got a spot right next to the entrance across from the elephants, and at the restaurant we got a spot right near the door. It was amazing.

*You know, from the bit in Fantasia 2000. What do you mean you haven't seen it? Honestly, people!

Happy Birthday, Big Sister!

BigSisterBirthday
Originally uploaded by Mystery Mommy.

I still look up to you. You are so important to me. My life would be so much poorer if I didn't have you. My admiration for you today is as strong (maybe stronger) as it was 33 years ago when this picture was taken.

Love you always.

Transcript of a conversation

MM: "Mommy, I don't want to give Daddy a cracker"
Me: "Well, you don't have to....unless you offered it to him. Did you offer it to him?"
MM: "Yes. But then I ate it."
Me: "But Muffin Man, that's teasing. Teasing isn't nice. It makes people feel bad."
MM: "But it's in my tummy!"
Me: "Yes, I know. But you have to go and tell Daddy that you're sorry you teased him. I think he probably feels bad that you teased him."
MM: "Okay. No teasing."

Now, it didn't end up being quite that easy, but I think we're making progress on what teasing is and why we shouldn't do it. And we're also making progress on why we don't hit people. Muffin Man is discovering how much power he has, and we need to teach him how to use that power for good.

Seen at Dances with Minivans

Take the quiz: "Which Greek god/goddess are you?"

Hermes
You are Hermes! Hermes was the messenger god.Hermes was known for his helpfulness to mankind, both in his capacity as immortal herald and on his own initiative. When Perseus set out to face the Gorgon Medusa, Hermes aided him in the quest. According to one version of the myth, he loaned the hero his own magic sandals, which conferred upon the wearer the ability to fly.

Pssst...hey kid, want some Harry?

I got TellsDonaldDuckStories hooked on Harry Potter. I did it with malice aforethought. I wonder what the maximum sentence is for that. On the one hand, he's not a minor. On the other hand, I know what Harry can do to an addictive personality. And TellsDonaldDuckStories is an addict: Coffee, poppy-seed bagels, and the New York Times. He's gotta have 'em and he'll travel pretty far to get 'em. Weekend visits have gotten much less tense since Starbucks started selling the NYT in all their shops.

So a few weeks ago they were down for a visit and I loaned him the first Harry Potter book. He read it during the hellacious trip home and went out and bought the whole set. And he bought another set for my neice and nephew.

I feel like a miniature version of Cyrus McPherson (nyah-haha!)*

*Cyrus McPherson was the villian in all of TellsDonaldDuckStories Donald Duck Stories (the ones he made up)

Okay, so it's not cake...

Nix on the chocolate cake this weekend, we're making sorbet and ice cream instead. Yesterday was Yellow Doll Watermelon Sorbet. Yellow Doll watermelons are yellow inside instead of red. The sorbet came out pretty good, but we added too much sugar (following a recipe for orange sorbet and forgetting that melons are loads sweeter than oranges.)

Today is strawberry-vanilla ice cream. It was going to be cherry-vanilla but we couldn't find any fresh cherries. Is the season over already?

Yesterday we spent some time shopping at a nearby farm stand. Mr. Spock is friends with a local farmer and we got some personal assistance from him picking out the best peaches and tomatoes. And we bought a dozen ears of Bread and Butter corn. Ate some last night. Having more for dinner tonight.

Muffin Man is going through yet another "Sleep with me!!!" phase. Normally I don't but last night I did (today's not a work/school day, I didn't actually go to bed until long after he was asleep, and this morning he helped me put the mattress back in the guest room and make the bed.) I don't know what is behind the sudden overwhelming desire for me to be in the room with him, but I wish he'd get over it already. He's napping now. I hope he stays asleep for at least another hour.

When he wakes up we'll put the custard into the ice cream maker and add the strawberries (half pureed, half in chunks) and let it churn for 20 - 40 minutes. After we've had some ice cream, perhaps we'll go to the pool. Then back home for dinner and bath-time. Then bed again.

Just another Sunday afternoon at the MysteryMommy house.

And the race is on!

Yesterday Morning:

Me (trying to avoid the huge whine fest of the day before): Muffin Man, if you are all dressed by the time I get out of the shower, we'll have time to watch t.v. together. Otherwise, no t.v.!
MM: Is it a race?
Me: Yes!

5 minutes later...I'm washing my dainty bits...

MM: Mommy! I'm all dressed!
Mr. Spock: He did it all by himself.

People, I'm here to tell you that he got all his clothes on correctly. And he even put on his own socks. He wore sandals with them, but we'll deal with fashion faux pas later.

So we did it again this morning (I told him he didn't have to wear socks). And again, he dressed himself correctly. Including remembering that today is Splash Day at school and he should wear his bathing trunks.

AND....He made his own cinnemon toast for breakfast this morning with only a little bit of help from me (removing the hot bread from the toaster, cutting the finished product into triangles).

My little boy. He's growing up.

Mmmmmmm....Chocolate

Friday Mom has a beautiful post that mentions, towards the end, chocolate cake with white frosting.

Now I happen to love chocolate cake with white frosting and my mom's friend gave us a recipe for a triple-threat chocolate cake which almost could kind of count as home-made. Almost. But not quite.

Triple Threat, Almost Homemade But Not Quite, Chocolate Cake

Ingredients:
1 Box Duncan Hines Devil's Food Cake
1 Box Non-instant Chocolate Pudding
4 Eggs
8 oz Sour Cream
1/2 Cup oil
1/2 Cup fresh brewed coffee
1 bag Nestle's Toll House Chocolate Chips
1 Can Vanilla frosting (or make it from scratch, whatever)

Preheat oven to 350. Grease your pan(s).

In a large mixing bowl mix all the ingredients (except for the chocolate chips) until smooth. Pour into pan(s). Pour chips into pans (try to distribute evenly). Bake until a toothpick poked it the center comes out clean (check a couple of places, you may hit a chocolate chip). Generally it takes about 5 - 10 minutes longer than the side of the cake mix box says it will take.

Let cool in the pans and then remove and let cool completely before you frost.

The original recipe called for dusting powdered sugar over it as a decoration, but come on....

About re-reading The Secret Garden -- again

One of my all-time favorite books is The Secret Garden.

It starts:
"When Mary Lennox was sent to Mistlethwaite Manor to live with her uncle everybody said she was the most disagreeable-looking child ever seen. It was true too."

Isn't that a wonderful beginning? A preface I once read, I think it was to another book, talks about the importance of getting rid of parental figures in children's literature. The problem, the author of the preface wrote, is how do you get rid of the parents without traumatizing the young reader? Most books have the children in boarding school, summer camp, visiting slightly fuzzy grandparents. Not The Secret Garden. Mary Lennox's parents die painfully of cholera in the first chapter. But it is made clear that Mary couldn't have cared less about her parents. Many people never even knew they had a child. She is a hideous child, spoiled rotten. Ten years old and still having screaming temper tantrums. What a fabulous character!

After her parents die, Mary is sent to England to live. The house she lives in has hundreds of rooms, half of them locked up. It also has extensive grounds which include a walled garden whose door was locked and the key buried ten years ago. The mystery of the garden, the strangeness of the isolated and lonely house conspire to make Mary think of something other than herself. When she finds her way into the garden and discovers the secret of Mistlethwaite Manor, she blooms along with the roses she tends.

That preface I mentioned above made another point. If Frances Hodgeson Burnett had merely called this book The Garden, it'd be a pleasant book about how gardening and exercise make you a nicer, healthier person. But by calling it The Secret Garden, by locking it away and hiding the key....now the reader is intrigued, even as our heroine is.

Thinking of a friend

A friend of mine is going through a rough time. She's ill and at home and, because I'm allergic to animal hair and she has 2 dogs and a cat, I can't go over and rub her feet and make chicken soup.

This is a friend that I met on a contract 5 jobs ago. We've been friends ever since. She babysits for Muffin Man. He calls her "Auntie [Friend's Name]." She's family.

She was bemoaning the fact that she couldn't even clean the house and so...

I asked her permission to send over and pay for a cleaning service. At first she said, "No." I argued. She was adamant. I gave up.

A little later she called me back and said, "If you were sick, I'd be doing what I could to help you. What kind of a friendship do we have if I can't accept the same in return?"

So yesterday, her house was cleaned for her. And I still feel like it's a poor substitute for chicken soup.

Does this meme remind anybody else of Monty Python & the Holy Grail?

1. What is your first name? Elizabeth

2. Were you named after anyone? Yes. But I don't remember who.

3. Do you wish on stars? Long, long ago. Now I have everything I wished for then.

4. When did you last cry? Today.

5. Do you like your handwriting? It depends. It starts out great and then degenerates into illegibility.

6. What is your favorite lunch meat? Ham.

7. What is your most embarrassing CD? Um....possibly Free to Be, You and Me. Because I bought it 2 years before I had Muffin Man. CD I'm proudest of? Pianosaurus Groovy Neighborhood.

8. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? I agree with Phantom that this question is bizarre. I hope I'd be friends with me.

9. Do you have a journal? Aside from the blog? Does writing letters to Muffin Man count?

10. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Who me? Never.

11. What are your nicknames? Liz.

12. Would you bungee jump? Not even if you paid me.

13. Do you untie your shoes before you take them off? I very rarely wear shoes with laces, but my high-top black Reeboks never get untied.

14. Do you think that you are strong? My three-year-old can out-wrestle me.

15. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate Fudge Brownie.

16. Shoe size? 7 - 7 and a half.

17. Red or pink? Red.

18. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? My nail-biting.

19. What do you miss most? Wild, abandoned snugglebunnies.

20. There is no number 20.

21. What color pants/shoes are you wearing? I'm wearing neither.

22. What are you listening to right now? Law & Order/Homicide double header.

23. Last thing you ate? Chicken Caesar Salad at the local pizza joint.

24. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Huh? I'd be some discontinued color, like Burnt Sienna.

25. What is the weather like right now? 72. Mostly cloudy. 94% Humidity. We are currently between scattered showers.

26. Last person you talked to on the phone? Miss Cindy at Muffin Man's daycare.

27. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? I gotta go with Phantom Scribbler's answer here.

28. There is no number 28.

29. Favorite drink? Coffee. But I mostly drink water.

30. Favorite sport? I don't compete, but I'm a sucker for the Olympics.

31. Hair color? Brown.

32. Eye color? Hazel.

33. Do you wear contacts? Yes.

35. Last movie you watched? Aladdin.

36. Favorite day of the year? Christmas.

37. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings.

38. Winter or summer? Summer. Absolutely.

39. Hugs or kisses? Yes.

40. What is your favorite dessert? Sweetwater's chocolate waffle. And their white chocolate cheese cake. And their strawberry shortcake. APL, remember the strawberry shortcake?

41. Who is most likely to do this meme? It seems like everybody's doing it!

42. Who is the least likely to do this meme and comment? Mr. Spock.

43. What books are you reading? The Secret Garden (re-reading again).

44. What's on your mouse pad? No mouse pad.

45. What did you watch on TV last night? West Wing reruns and Miami Animal Police.

46. Favorite smells? My son's neck. Baking bread.

47. Favorite sound? Muffin Man laughing.

48. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Beatles. By a very fine hair.

49. What's the furthest you've been from your home? Japan.

50. Do you have a special talent? I can read and walk at the same time.

51. What is your ring tone? It just rings.

House Rules

Since I have just kicked out another smelly spammer and Phantom Scribbler just posted a fabulous set of Rules for Commenters, I hereby steal hers and thus include this link.

So, uh, yeah. What Phantom Scribbler said.

File Under: TMI

Let's get it on the table that I am not a prude. I performed in the Rocky Horror Picture Show Floor show as Janet, Magenta, Columbia, AND FRANK. I did that for over a year. NOT. A. PRUDE.

But I think that if the bridesmaids are going to invite the bride's future mother-in-law and present sister-in-law to a shower, it's preferable for it not to be themed "Sex Around the House".

I come and stand by every door.

Mr. Spock has a post that reminded me of the song the title of this post is from. It's a song I learned in the first sleep-away camp I went to (ages 7 & 8). Let's call it Camp Guilt.

I come and stand by every door
Though none can hear my silent tread
I knock and yet remain unseen
For I am dead, I am dead

It's about Hiroshima and the children who died there. We sang it every Hiroshima Day and after singing it, we would put origami cranes out to float on the lake. For a long time that was really all I knew about Hiroshima.

Later on, my school took us on a field trip to the UN. There's a fabulous museum there with exhibits on the Holocaust and Hiroshima. One image I'll never forget is a photograph of a sidewalk in Hiroshima with a man's shadow permanently stained onto the concrete. I can't imagine the amount of light and heat it would take to cause that. It's so hard to believe that human beings could create a weapon that can melt rocks, vaporize people and animals, and cause horrific cancers and then use it. It's even harder to believe that we used it twice.

What Kind of Food Am I?

Adding to our nightly ritual is a little routine (during the back-pat phase) called, "tell me all the foods I am."

Me: "Are you my little pumpkin?"
MM: "No." (laughing after each no.)
Me: "Are you my little strawberry?" (really, he should be considering how many of them he eats)
MM: "No."
Me: "Are you my little kumquat?" (don't you love the word "kumquat"?)
MM: "No."
Me: " Are you my little nectarine?"
MM: "No."

This goes on for a while, with him throwing out suggestions for what kind of food he is until finally he says, "That's enough, Mommy."

Me: "Are you my Big [Muffin Man's Real Name] Boy?"
MM: "YES!"

Then we do the whole kissing, hugging, "Night-night" thing and he goes to sleep. When it goes on too long, I have to really cudgel my brains to come up with foods. Often, I suggest pastries. I've actually been reduced to asking if he's a lobster or a veal scallopini. Hey! You've gotta be creative!

D'Oh!!!!

This morning started off pretty good. Mr. Spock and I got up on time, he took a shower, then I took a shower. He started getting Muffin Man ready while I dressed. I was looking sharp in my red suit (pants and blazer, a lovely nose-bleed red) with my black cami underneath the blazer. We go downstairs for breakfast (Kashi Go-Lean Crunch with milk, and coffee. WW 4.5 points.) I take off my blazer so as not to spill skim milk all over it, something I am quite capable of. I clear the table and Mr. Spock and Muffin Man go tootling off to daycare in the Spock-mobile. I lock up the house and head off to work, arriving fifteen minutes later, in good time for my nine o'clock meeting.

Y'all know what happened right? I'm going into detail here. WHAT HAVE I LEFT BACK AT HOME?

The blazer. It's on the back of my chair in the kitchen. It is now 8:35. I don't have time to go back for it. I will have to go to the meeting wearing my red pants and my black cami. I'm mortified. It's not that I don't look okay. I do. It's that, what with my figure and all, a black cami is not...appropriate office wear. It just isn't.

I go to the meeting. As soon as the meeting is over I rush home to get the blazer and rush back. Phew. I resolve to never take it off again.

Which is why there's a big Shepherd's Pie stain on it now.

Interjections!

Muffin Man's new favorite substitute for Aladdin is School House Rock. Always the real reason to watch Saturday morning cartoons for me, I have no objection but...

Now the songs in my head are Interjections and Adjectives...very distracting.

I'm also kind of preoccupied with a project I'm working on. I have to write an essay of more than 150 words about "a significant event or relationship that has influenced [me] during [my] life."

So, do I write about the hold-up, Muffin Man's birth, or the day Mr. Spock proposed to me? I thought about writing about growing up as a child of divorced parents, but let's face it, I'm 36. The divorce is OVER. I'm personally leaning toward the hold-up since it's kind of unique.

Votes?

Finally!

It's about time!

I should buy stock in Kleenex.

I'm sitting here crying for a dog I never met.

He's just a loon.

Me: "Well, Muffin Man, it looks like you're not listening. So I think we just need to go home."
MM (shrieking): "But I want to go to Costco!!!!!"

Also seen at APL's

Overall, Your Observation Skills Get: B+

Your senses are pretty sharp (okay, most of the time) And it takes something big to distract you!

How Observant Are You?

Seen at Angry Pregnant Lawyer's

Your English Skills:

Grammar: 100%

Punctuation: 100%

Spelling: 100%

Vocabulary: 100%

Does Your English Cut the Mustard?

Housekeeping - UPDATED

There's some stuff I need to clean out of my brain:

1. Everybody please head over to Jenn's page to congratulate her for finishing her thesis and defense.

2. Purple Kangaroo is breathlessly anticipating the arrival of her third child, please go over and give her some support.

3. BrooklynGirl is looking for advice, go on over and help her out too.

4. Corndog seems to be having self-esteem issues - can you believe he actually thinks he is writing without humor?

5. I think genevieve (her comment is in there somewhere) should start a blog. She's obviously erudite and witty. All those in favor, say "Aye".

6. Muffin Man was dry all night for the second night in a row, which makes 3 out of 4 nights. I'm giddy.

7. Song that is in my head right now? To the tune of Eine Kline Nachtmusik - "Please don't play your violin at night. Wolfgang, go to bed. Turn out the light. But I must play my violin. At night my violin must be beneath my chin...." From Beethovan's Wig.

8. Updated to add: Welcome KLee to the blogosphere! Very glad to have you in the neighborhood.

And again.

Dry again last night! Twice in 3 days!

Visions of no more diapers dance in my head. It'll be like a pay-raise. No diapers, no doublers. Swoon.

But I'm getting waaaaayyyy ahead of myself here. I know that. I'll jinx it if I fantasize about it too much.

Words to live by.

Mr. Spock took Muffin Man to school this morning. I left before them and MM raced to the front door so he could let me out. Hugs and kisses were given.

Me: "Bye-bye, Muffin Man. I love you."
Him: "Bye-bye, Mommy. I love you too."
Me: "Have a good day."
Him: "Have a good day."
Me: "Be a good listening boy at school."
Him: "Be a good listening girl at your meeting!"

With a start like that, how could my day not go well?

What's the secret?

So it seems the secret to getting your child toilet-trained is a three-step process.

1. Put your child into underwear at his request on Christmas Day. For the next three months, wash 4 loads of laundry daily. Put your child back into Pull-ups.

2. In June, get told by the director of your son's daycare that she wants to move him up into the older class, but can't until he's toilet-trained. Put him back into underwear.

3. Order Toilet Training in Less than a Day from Amazon.com. By the time it gets delivered to your door, your child will be toilet-trained. Truly. I'm surprised I didn't think to order this earlier. Everyone knows that if you spend money on something that should be easy, you will discover that you didn't need to spend the money.

Who's the little man?

Muffin Man stayed dry all night! Whoohoooo!!!!

And boy, was he amazed at how much pee he put in the potty.

The Meme

1. What were three of the stupidest things you have done in your life? Please note, these things were stupid, but I don't regret them. I couldn't be where I am now if I hadn't done them.

a) Dating and moving in with "Snake" during college. 'Nuff said.
b) Leaving college half-way through. See a.
c) Putting off learning to drive until I was 27.

2. At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life?

a) Muffin Man. Followed closely by Mr. Spock.

3. If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick up five people to dine with, who would you pick?

a) Jane Austen
b) Georgette Heyer
c) Laura Ingalls Wilder
d) Frances Hodgsen Burnett
e) Josephine Tey

4. If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?

a) That everyone would actually learn how to live and let live. No more shooting at each other.
b) That the world in general and my country in particular would make a priority of universal health care. No more dying of curable diseases, no more infant mortality from preventable causes. And oh! No more starving to death while we're at it.
c) I'll talk to Mr. Spock about this one later.

5. Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.

Regret:
a) That there is no viable public transportation to get from where I live into downtown DC.
b) We need a closer bookstore.

Avoid:
a) The Beltway. Especially on a rainy Thursday evening.
b) The weird little pub across the street.

6. Name one event that has changed your life. There are many, many answers to this one. Hard to choose just one.

a) When I was in my early 20's, I got hugely angry with MakesBooksForGrandkids and, by extension, SingsLullabys. I was so angry that I stopped talking to them. A month went by, then two. I couldn't communicate my anger, I couldn't communicate with them at all. After a point, it got so that I couldn't pick up the phone when I wanted to. What was I going to say? "Sorry I've been avoiding you like the plague"?

The upshot was I went into therapy so that I could re-establish communication with them. I missed them. I was angry but I didn't want to cut them out of my life. After 6 months of therapy and 10 months of no contact, I was finally able to write a letter to my dad. I stayed in therapy for over 3 years.

I infinitely regret the pain of that separation, but it was a huge catalyst for change in my life. My therapist helped me get my shit together in so many ways. I honestly could never have been in this marriage, could never have been the mom I am, could never have achieved a healthy adult relationship with my parents if I hadn't spent that time in counselling.

7. Tag 3 people.

Mr. Spock
Preludes and Nocturnes
Angry Pregnant Lawyer (have you been tagged yet?)

Lunchtime at the new job

While I now have a desk and a computer, I don't have any developer software yet and so can't do my job. I do have some specs to read and I am reading them, but boy howdy! I'm dying for some work here!

Oh! And I still don't have a phone.

Spent part of the afternoon yesterday in the neighborhood kid-friendly pool with Muffin Man. We mostly bounced up and down in the deep end (4'6'' deep) and we went underwater once! He did some good floating (holding on to his noodle for dear life, while I held on to the noodle.) I must figure out a way to carve out enough time to get him swimming lessons.

Yesterday evening, after we got home from the pool, he said he needed to go pee. So he left Mr. Spock and me in his room and we listened while he went trotting down the hall to our bathroom (which shares a wall with his bedroom).

We heard him:

Raise the toilet seat
Tinkle
Roll out some toilet paper
Flush
Put the seat and lid back down
Move his foot-stool (actually his old potty)
Turn on the water
Grab the soap (the metal soap dish is rather noisy)
Sing the Alphabet song
Turn off the water
Pause (we assumed he dried his hands)
Trot back to his bedroom.

We were so proud and praised him to the skies.

Coming soon: The meme Andrea tagged me with.

I'm here! I'm here!

Just busy at home, still computerless at work, and working on that Meme that Andrea tagged me with. At my last job I could read y'all while I was eating lunch at work, but this week, not only do I not have a computer at work, I'm sitting in my boss's office. And while you'd think that having a shorter commute would mean I'd have more time at home to read y'all, I'm actually using the extra time to spend with my son.

So I'll be doing more writing this weekend and in the meantime, big hugs to you all. You are truly very dear to me. I miss you when you don't update and I feel lonely when you're on vacation.

And to Mr. Spock, I love you loads.

Okay, I am allowed to bring the 'fridge.

Still no desk, no phone, no computer. Got an e-mail address, but no way to look at e-mail.

But who cares? Fifteen Minutes! In RUSH HOUR!!!!

Nu? Job?

No badge, no desk, no computer, no phone, no 'fridge, no microwave. Not allowed to bring my cute little Sharper Image 'fridge from home.

But who cares? Fifteen minutes from my house, people!!!!

How much time did it take?

A little under 7 hours!
To do what?
Finish Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince.
And?
Pretty good for a book that would have been better if it were only half as long.....

It's under discussion at Phantom Scribbler's.

Visitors

TellsDonaldDuckStories and QuiltsAlot are here for a visit. TDDS has already lived up to his name.

Muffin Man was eager to show off his new potty skills and his tastefully decorated room (he put up his own artwork all by himself which goes very nicely with the stickers that now adorn his changing station (rewards for potty successes). I'll post a picture soon.)

Yesterday, while he was upstairs hanging his pictures, I was downstairs starting dinner.

"Mommy!"
"Yes?"
"What are you doing?"
"I'm making noodles with pesto."
....
"Mommy!"
"Yes?"
"Can I have noodles with pesto, too?"
"Yes."
"But there's no hurry, Mama."

And he ate it all, too.

What's the word?

Please leave a one-word comment that you think best describes me. It can only be one word. No more. Then copy & paste this in your blog so that I may leave a word about you.

from Beanie Baby (see Andrea? I got around to it eventually!)

I'm a Ravenclaw too!

I'm a Ravenclaw!

spotted at Phantom Scribbler's

POOP! (Warning...contains graphic description of grossness)

He tried. Really, he tried. But he thought he could do the poop thing the way he does the pee thing.

Standing up. Only, y'know, facing in the other direction.

And, as I've said before, he likes his privacy. So I didn't know. I swear to God, I didn't know he was gonna try this.

Then he yelled, "Mama!!!! POOPY!!!! Mama!!!!!"

Now, to give him credit, half did get into the toilet (and boy howdy, the size of that thing!) and half was on the floor at the foot of the toilet, after having slid down the front of the toilet leaving a trail behind.

There was poop on his butt, on his legs, on his feet, on his shorts, his Nemo underpants, his suspenders, his hands, his tummy, his penis, the sink, the towel, and the wall. Thank goodness he'd taken off his shoes and socks when we got home.

I used wipes and more wipes and more wipes. And then the toilet overflowed.

Hey, I told you, it was BIG.

Bathtime!

I can't pick one...

One of my managers is a minister. He doesn't have a church, so he considers our team to be his "flock". Every week he tacks on a homily to the end of the agenda for the weekly staff meeting. The agenda that goes out not only to our internal team, but also to our clients.

Following are some summaries of the two most hideous:

1. PG-13 and R rated movies are like "dog poop brownies" ("Now when this father's kids want to do something or see something they shouldn't, he merely asks them if they would like some of his special dog poop brownies -- and they never ask about it again.")

2. "Help Is Sometimes A Deterrent". This wonderful bit of word-smithing came out for the meeting after a shit-bomb that we had warned all our managers about months in advance finally went off. The tag line in that little beauty? "Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we went through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us."

Yeah. Thanks. Next time, maybe you'll listen to us. (uh, that would be a "no.")

Well now, that's better.

He was back to being Cooperative Boy last night and this morning. Phew. He even leaned back in the bathtub to get his hair wet (with my hand under his back). That was a definite no-no in the past. But last night he wanted to do it - and then he wanted to do it again! Yay!

Gotta start packing up my stuff from my lovely windowed office here at my current job to move to my new job. I'm looking forward to the new job and better commute, but boy will I ever miss this office.

Proud, yet exasperated.

On the plus side: Muffin Man is potty trained, he likes his "privacy" when he's doing his thing. He pees standing up. At the real, honest-to-goodness toilet! He wipes. He washes his hands (with a reminder, and a bit of supervision). He flushes. He's such a big boy!!!!

With every silver lining, a cloud:

He's being a real pain in my ass.
"I don't want that shirt - I want this shirt! NO! NOT THE SHIRT I JUST SAID! THE OTHER ONE!"
"I want my Nemo underwear, not that Nemo underwear! The OTHER Nemo underwear!"
"NOOOOOOOO!!!"

And that's just this morning.

I'm giving him alot of leeway because of the whole potty thing, but he's still resorting to hitting. And then he laughs at me. And that just drives me flipping crazy.

And he's normally such a sweetie. A loving, hugging, kissing boy. Seriously, he says and does the most wonderful things. Most of the time.

I like Phantom Scribbler's way of dealing with LG today. Perhaps I'll try that tomorrow.

Busy, busy weekend

Saturday morning: SoupAndBread followed by a visit with APL & AB. So much fun!

Saturday afternoon: Naps all around, followed by a visit to Wegman's and dinner.

Sunday morning: Brunch, followed by meeting up with Mr. Spock's sister, her friend, and her friend's two kids at the mall to go shopping for clothes for Muffin Man and friend's son to wear at Mr. Spock's sister's wedding this Labor Day weekend. They are going to be ring-bearers.

Sunday afternoon: Sent Mr. Spock and Muffin Man home for nap, continued shopping.

Sunday evening: Dinner at sister-in-law's house, followed by bath for MM and bed (I finished tucking him in at 10:00 PM!)

Results of shopping: Very good. Got complete outfit for MM.

PT Update: Dry all day 10 days in a row!!!

Oh. My. God. London, I love you.

Read this from the London News Review.

Found via Underpaid Kept Woman.

I still don't want to talk about it.

But Susie Sunshine says it well and so does Scrivener and Angry Pregnant Lawyer and OTBKB.

More Meeting Haiku

Donuts smell so good
Chocolate covered, cream-filled
Fried yeasty goodness.

I'm so not hungry
Why are they...mmmm....tempting me?
Can't I have one bite?

Stop. Don't look, don't touch.
Breathe deep. Remember your goals.
Please, please, don't eat them.

I don't want to talk about it.

And anyway, Phantom Scribbler said it best.

Caught Me

"If, as you live your life, you find yourself mentally composing blog entries about it, post this exact same sentence in your weblog."

seen first at 1B*.

An Open Letter to My Parents

I know you read this blog. How come you never comment?

You may have noticed that I blogged incessantly about your youngest grandson this week. He has crossed a major milestone! Have you nothing to say about that? Come on, come on. Speak up!

Boy, Do I Feel Sheepish

The Phantom Professor has a quiz on her blog that she gave to Sophomores and Juniors at her college.

I'm embarrassed to say that I did not get all of the answers right. One of the three I got wrong I blame on my (mostly dormant) Brooklyn accent.

Houston, We Have Contact!

Dry Days in a Row: 4
Pee standing up?: Check.
Poop in the potty?: Check.
Sitting on the BIG GROWN-UP potty and shunning the little potty?: Check and check.

Go Muffin Man! Go!

So, why the new job?

My current job, the one I'm leaving, is a pretty good one. I've only got the usual amount of headaches from clueless managers (including the one who attaches a sermon to the staff meeting agenda each week). So why am I leaving?

I live in Ashburn, VA - ten minutes west of Dulles Airport. Ashburn is in Loudoun County, the fastest-growing county in the country. I work in Merrifield, just inside the Beltway. If I worked Saturdays I could get to work in 25 minutes.

But I don't work Saturdays. I work weekdays and so does everyone else in this part of the world (our region has been consistantly in the top three worst-traffic regions for the last 5 years). My commute can take anywhere from 35 minutes on an exceptionally good day to 2 hours on an exceptionally bad day. Most days it takes about an hour each way.

My new job is just south of the Dulles Airport. I see the building I'll be working at out the passenger-side window of my car on my commute each morning. The morning of my interview with them it took me 15 minutes in rush-hour to get there. I arrived 45 minutes early (I wasn't taking any chances!).

My worst commuting days will probably never take as long as my best commuting days do now.

I can't begin to describe how much stress I've let go of since agreeing to take the job. Since I'll be hourly for the first 6 months, I could work an hour of PAID over-time every day and still get home earlier than I do now!

Excited/Nervous - Updated

Excited

New job! Short commute! Yay!

Nervous

Muffin Man was dry all day yesterday and today went on the potty at brunch and again before nap! Yay! After we flushed the before nap one down he wanted to go again, very insistant. I thought it was stalling, but...so I let him sit again and it was about 15 minutes and I was getting annoyed and told him to call me when he was done and left the room for awhile and then he got upset and he did pee in the potty after all. So I'm nervous that I may have made him think that the potty's not such a great thing. I hope I didn't make a mistake there.

Update: Seems he's not been inhibited by my before-nap grumps. We had success this afternoon and before bed.

PT Update - Starting to look really good!

Muffin Man stayed dry all day! Went to the potty before and after nap at school and before bed just now!

YAY!!!!!

Stickers and toys!!!

PT Update - Cautiously Ecstatic

Muffin Man went in the potty at school! I was so proud and he was so proud and so I asked him, "What would you like for dinner? You're a big boy who went pee in the potty, so you can choose."
"Pizza. I want to eat pizza at the pizza store." he answered.

So we went to Bravo Pizza and ate pizza (mediocre, but they sell it by the slice) and half-way through he said, "I need to make pee-pee."

So I took him to the rest room and he said, "You first, Mommy."

So I went first and then he pulled down his pants and put the portable seat on the toilet and I lifted him up onto the grown-up seat and...

He peed in the grown-up toilet in the bathroom at the pizzaria!

Strawberry ice-cream cones for everybody!!!!

Sad

I saw a baby today, she was maybe 8 months old, and she was being pushed in her stroller by a nurse who was pulling an oxygen tank behind her. The baby was receiving oxygen through a trachial tube. We got onto an elevator together.

I waved at her and smiled and she smiled back at me, and then they got off the elevator. The two other women in the elevator and I just started crying.

I feel so grateful that my son is healthy.

Memories from the baby-planning closet

Ambivilant Infertility has a post about using a midwife and not telling her family because of their inevitable obnoxiousness about it. Which brought out a comment from altmama about the benefits of being in the baby-planning closet, "Why share information, if people are only going to use it to judge?"

Which struck a chord with me because Mr. Spock and I hid some things in that closet ourselves.

The main one was Muffin Man's name. We have a relative who has a history of being extremely negative about the names parents have chosen for the unborn baby. "What kind of a name is that?", "But there are so many pretty girl's names", and "I know you said that you decided on that name, but here's a list of names I like better."

So we chose a name and didn't tell anyone what it was. We told them we were expecting a boy, once we knew the sex. We told those who asked the story of his conception. We told people our plans for breast-feeding, daycare and use of drugs during delivery, but we kept our mouths shut about his name.

We figured once he was born and we introduced him to everyone, it'd be too late for them to complain. And no one did. Even Mrs. Name-Hater only commented on how beautiful he is. Not a word about the name.

We got some grief about our decision to not have him circumcised though.

PT update

Progress is being made. Muffin Man peed in the potty at school on Monday (a first!), at home on Tuesday evening, and twice at home Wednesday evening. We're hoping for a school/home double feature today.

I ordered a book called "Potty Training in less than a Day" which finally arrived yesterday...It looks like we're actually beyond it but I will incorporate some of it's ideas. APL, if you want it I'll give it to you to use with AB, he's nearly ready for their technique according to the book.

Anyways....

MM is really pretty proud of himself over the whole going twice in the potty thing last night so we're really encouraging that feeling.

Lunch!

I had lunch with APL at a mall near where we both work. We ate yummy Lebanese food and talked about her work, my work, NSAH's work, Mr. Spock's work, potty training, the cuteness that is our sons, why the doggie boutique doesn't make cute outfits for anything other than little frou-frou lap dogs, perfect skinny mommies and their chubby little babies that are legion at this mall, how much we hate neighbors who shoot off fireworks at 10 PM. And of course, how we'd love to not go back to work but just stay and chat and maybe shop a little....

Alas, we both went back to work like the good worker bees that we are.

Thanks APL! I had a great time!

Mr. Spock

Mr. Spock has deigned to comment a few times here. Unfortunately, he comments enigmatically so you can't get a flavor of how funny, silly, smart, darling, and smart-alecky he can be.

So here are some Mr. Spock memories.

How We Met

'Round about this time 12 years ago, Mr. Spock moved into an apartment on West 96th Street. Two blocks away was Murder Ink, The World's Oldest Mystery Bookstore. Working there was yours truly. At the time, I had hair down to my waist (generally pulled back in a french-braid or pony-tail). He walked by the store, looked in and saw me from the back. I was up on a ladder, putting something away in the H paperback section. He came in 'cause he has a thing about long hair. I came down off the ladder and he saw that I was short and cute and...um...built. All of which he also has a thing about. So we started talking. And I sold him a book.

He came in the next week. I sold him a book. And the next week. And the next.

Now, you need to understand that in NYC there are alot of gay owned-and-operated businesses. And you also need to understand that at Murder Ink at the time more than half the staff were openly gay or bi-sexual. So Mr. Spock thought that I was probably gay too. And it didn't help matters much that I was deliberately taking a year off of dating anyone while I worked on some issues in therapy, so I was actively NOT FLIRTING.

So for a year he came in every week and bought a book and chatted with me and never asked me out because he assumed I wouldn't be interested. And then one day in late August 1994 I mentioned a past boyfriend. Mr. Spock's eyes lit up. A boyfriend! A PAST boyfriend!

The next week he went away for a vacation but the week after that he asked me out for coffee. I said yes. Our first date was September 15, 1994. I moved in with him in March of '95. He asked me to marry him November 11, 1995. We married May 18 the following year.

It's a Small World

Around the corner from his apartment was a bar. Tending bar were two sisters. Mr. Spock would go to that bar after dinner most evenings, have a drink, chat with the bartenders and shmooze for a little while before going home to his two-room apartment. During the year that he was coming into Murder Ink, he told the bartenders all about his crush on the girl at the bookstore (never mentioning which bookstore it was) and how she was probably gay and how he'd like to ask her out but...And they would give him advice and bolster his confidence and just generally be really good friends to him. Of course, he told them about the revelation of her heterosexuality and of course he told them about the first date.

The weekend after our first date, I went up to my mom's country house to spend a weekend with my mom and my step-father and some of my cousins came up too. On Sunday of that weekend, I made some grapefruit marmalade and promised my cousins I would bring it to them at work that week.

On Tuesday I dropped off the marmalade at my cousins' workplace and they told me that they had told everyone how they'd watched me make it and how they were looking forward to eating it. After talking with them for a little while, I left to meet Mr. Spock for our second date. During dinner, he asked what I had done that weekend.

Me: "Saw my cousins and made grapefruit marmalade"
MS: "Grapefruit marmalade? Everyone's talking about that these days."
Me: "Really? Well, in any case, I dropped some off with my cousins at the
bar they work at."
MS: "They work at a bar? Is one of them very tall and the other about your
height?"
Me: "Yes, do you know them?"

Yes, my friends. My cousins were his bartenders.

Later that evening he goes to their bar.

Them: "How did the date go?"
MS: "It went well, but there may be a problem."
Them: "What's the problem?"
MS: "Well, we know some people in common and I'm worried that they won't think I'm good enough for her."
Them: "Don't worry about what other people think. You're a great person. If
you like her and she likes you, that's all that matters."
MS: "I'm so relieved to hear you say that, because she's your
cousin."

He says he could see them mentally sorting out whether or not they thought he was too heavy a drinker, had he ever said anything incriminating, was he REALLY good enough for their baby cousin?

They laughed and called my mom to tell her that there was nothing to worry about and, oh, by the way, he's not an alcoholic.

Guess who I'm having lunch with!

Bloggable lunch today.

Tell you all about it later!

I Remember Momma

SingsLullabyes

My first memory of her as a mom is from when I was four. We were in my Dad's apartment on 12th Street in Brooklyn (she still had her own inManhatten). My dad was smoking a cigarette while lying on his bed one evening and I jumped up onto the bed to snuggle with him. My hand came down on the lit end of the cigarette and got burned. SingsLullabyes ran with me into the kitchen and put ice right on my hand, then she took me into the bathroom and did a whole band-aid thing with kisses and everything. She made it all better.

We used to go into SoHo and go shopping at Small Business (kid's clothing, defunct for about 25 years) and then we'd eat at Food (cafeteria style restaurant, defunct for about 20 years).

She made the most scrumptious prime rib and yorkshire pudding for Christmas dinners (SL, are you really sure you want to be a pescetarian?)

Puttering about the Soap Opera (soaps and bathstuff in the Village, now defunct) on the hunt for stocking presens, poking around antique shops ("Liz, honey, keep your hands in your pockets. If you want to touch something, ask me first") looking for ornaments for the Christmas tree.

We would go out for brunches or dinners at "grown-up" restaurants and she would encourage me to get a "cocktail" (Shirley Temple) and to NOT order off the kids menu. Ahhh, Camperdown Elm - long gone now too.

...

QuiltsAlot

She taught me to ride a bicycle (pink & white Schwinn, handed down from my sister), holding on to the back and running behind me (she didn't believe in training wheels). One afternoon, I was going really fast and I circled around and saw her...standing in front of me. Of course I fell right over, but I got right back on and never looked back.

She had a pottery wheel in a small room on the top floor, and she made mugs and cups and collanders and bowls that are still in use even though the pottery wheel has been gone for over 25 years.

She used to ask me to play "Beauty Parlor" with her and I'd brush and comb her hair and put barrettes in and make little swirly-dos and after a few minutes would notice she wasn't answering my questions. "Are you asleep?!?" I would demand. "Mmmm, only resssting my eyessss" she would murmur back.

We would go out walking to the ice cream parlor, and she would encourage my sister and me to order cones which she would "neaten up" for us. I am currently the world's record holder for least messy ice cream cone consumption.

Father's Day Week Memories

MakesBooksForGrandkids

He used to have a huge mustache which made him look exactly like Cheech Marin. Every father's day I'd buy him either a tie or something to keep that mustache in good working order: a mug with a mustache bridge, a little grooming kit...He shaved it off when I was seven? eight? I was devastated.

We once made an Angel Food Cake together - it came out flat as a pancake, but we frosted it with chocolate and ate it anyway.

That same year, I was in day camp at the Y and we had made brownies for a bake sale there. The brownies all sold before I could get one and I remember being so disappointed and then we tried to get a Creamsicle out of the vending machine and they were all out of those and so I had this HUGE meltdown and MBFG took me home and made me a "homemade creamsicle": Vanilla ice cream, orange juice, honey put it in a blender. It was so delicious and made me feel all better.

When I was in sleep-away camp, he would send me this beautiful picture letters - with fantastic curlicues and sketches of whatever he and SingsLullabyes were doing in bright happy colours.

From where I'm sitting in my office now, if I look to my right I can see a pen and ink drawing he made of the beach in Cape Cod where we used to spend our summers.
...
TellsDonaldDuckStories

When I first met him, I thought he was the Tallest. Man. In. The. Universe! (with apologies to PS). He's 6'2".

He has a lap that is just right for a small four-year-old to sit in. He used to tell me Donald Duck stories that always seemed to parallel things that were going on in my life. The villian in these stories was an evil man named Cyrus McPherson (Nyahaha!) He now tells similar stories to Muffin Man.

In the summers, we would go to this old used bookstore on the pier in Wellfleet and buy up all the Walt Disney Comics the crotchety old man had. Most of them had the covers ripped off. I still have most of them in a box in the basement. My favorite was always Uncle Scrooge. Can you believe that Disney doesn't sell an Uncle Scrooge piggy bank? What are they thinking?

Does it count, take II (with apologies to YT)

Does it count as staying dry all day if your son DOESN'T GO AT ALL at daycare and wants a diaper to pee into as soon as he comes home after REFUSING to sit on the potty?

And he proudly ran up to me at school and yelled, "I stayed dry all day Mommy!"

Does it count?

Does it count as staying dry all day if Muffin Man didn't wet his pants yesterday because he waited to pee until he was in a diaper at naptime and bedtime?

And is this something I should be pleased or concerned about?

Looking to the right...

You may notice that some new links have been added and, sadly, some have been removed. One that I took away became suddenly defunct, another I realized I wasn't reading as much.

A quick review of the links shows I'm neglecting the boys a bit, got lots of women and very few men. The people represented have two things in common - a great, if somewhat snarky, sense of humor and an ability to write well and evocatively about whatever they are writing about.

Another quick review shows a few interesting trends. Though I'm neither infertile nor an academic, I read a fair representation of infertility and academic blogs. Lots of interesting stuff going on in both those worlds and I'm so glad that those voices are out there.

I'm from a culturally Jewish background (never attended synagogue except for weddings and funerals, celebrate Hanukah and Passover but no real familial belief in God or organized religion). In taking the "What Religion Are You?" test, I came out as 100% Secular Humanist, 96% Unitarian Universalist. So it's somewhat of a surprise to note that amoung my links are people from every color on the religion rainbow. Do I always agree with everything everybody talks about on their blogs or the conclusions they come to? No, but I always identify with the process and admire the courage of taking a stand-- even if I disagree vehemantly with where that stand is.

In general, the bloggers I link to are politically to the left of center. Even more generally, the bloggers I link to are active in their communities whether on-line or IRL. I think we all are trying to leave the world better than when we found it, though some of us may have differing views on how we can do that and what it means.

Happy Father's Day, Dad & StepDad!

Had brunch with Dad (in town with StepMom to visit my eldest cousin who is ill with leukemia and also to visit us and especially Muffin Man). Spoke with StepDad on the phone.

I'm lucky to have two such great men to be parents. I'm lucky in my female parents as well. Which brings up something that has been bothering me in my blog.

I call them Dad, StepDad, Mom, StepMom as though they had no other role to play in their lives. In real life, I call them Dad, {StepDad's first name}, Mom, {StepMom's first name}. I want to keep their anonymity but I feel uncomfortable with the status quo here so...

For the time being, I'm going to rename them:
Dad is now MakesBooksForGrandkids
StepDad is now TellsDonaldDuckStories
Mom is now QuiltsALot
StepMom is now SingsLullabyes

I may change back. Or not.

'Night all.

Happy Father's Day, Mr. Spock!

You are a wonderful father and husband. I love being a parent with you. Thank you for being here for us, and for enjoying the process. Muffin Man adores you - and so do I.

Quick link time

Please read the Father's Day post on Bitch PhD. Excellent description of how an evolving marriage can stay good and vibrant.

Wow.

Angie has a post today which is a follow-up on the post before that. Both are pretty powerful reading (warning - the earlier one is a serious three-hanky read.)

Her post today reminded me of advice I often find myself giving and that I try really hard to take as well:

"Are the assholes paying you rent? Then why are you letting them live in your head?"

Angie, I am so impressed by your ability to evict the assholes from your life and from your head.

Ugh, ugh, ugh

Jen is talking about dreams and Suzan is talking about bugs which is creepy because last night I had a dream about bugs.

I was in the apartment I lived in during my sophomore year of college with my skeevy (then)boyfriend. The apartment was empty, no furniture, no refridgerator and all over the floor and walls were thousands of cockroaches. Big ones. And for some reason during the dream I went from wearing boots, to wearing sneakers, to wearing sandals, to being barefoot -- all without my intervention. And while I was freaking out in the dream, my sleeping self was really quite okay with it all. I knew it was a dream. And yet, I can't watch movies with bugs in them (one major reason the second Indiana Jones flick never got watched more than once.) So why wasn't I terribly bothered by this dream? And why dream it in the first place?

I have a theory about the reason for the dream which I will blog about later, once I've sat on it for a while.

What he said

"Bye-bye Daddy! I love you! Drive carefully! Don't go too fast or you will fall down and break your nose! Don't forget to go potty! Bye!"

PT update

So far, pretty good! Muffin Man made it to the potty every time on Monday at school (and then had an accident at home) and Tuesday he had one accident as he was running to the potty at school. I'm so proud of him!

His teachers are praising him and hugging him and rewarding him with gummy bears (we provided them). And we are doing the same at home.

I'm going to incorporate many of your suggestions for our weekends, but also want to stay consistent with what they do at school (since they can't let the kids run around with no pants on...)

Which reminds me that I need to buy him more keds (they're machine-washable).

Which one is me?

Tom Sietsema's chat has a post from me. Can you guess which one?

Another Fun Day: Good News and Bad News

Another fun day today, we woke up early and cuddled. Played, ate soft-boiled eggs, watched a highly edited (by Muffin Man) version of Beauty and the Beast. Then we went out to That's Amore for brunch, MM behaved beautifully and was rewarded with a new book and 5 matchbox cars from the Toys-R-Us next door.

We played with the cars and MM took a nap. Had ice cream sandwiches for after-nap snack, played with the cars some more and went to Mr. Spock's sister's house for dinner. Came home, MM took a bath (and was very cooperative about it which was a novelty) and then Mr. Spock came home and tucked MM into bed.

So, what's the good news and the bad news?

Bad news: MM had not one, not two, but THREE poops in his underwear today and three wet accidents. I've done 7 loads of laundry today.

Good news: The very last pee of the day went partly on the floor and partly in the potty. AND HE STOOD UP to pee. Pulled down his underpants just a tad and everything. Rewarded with lots of praise and three gummy bears.

Excellent day over all.

Fun day today

Muffin Man and I are on our own this weekend. Mr. Spock is up in NYC visiting a friend of ours.

MM & I went for SoupAndBread today and had a great time. After nap, our babysitter came over and I went shopping for shorts for MM (he only had four pair and we're starting potty training again) and some clothes for me.

Fun Fact 1: I've gone from a size ten in skirts and pants to a size 8.
Fun Fact 2: I've gone from a 38 bra to a 36. Same cup size. And I am in love with the Wacoal Slimline Minimizer.
Fun Fact 3: Muffin Man is making another stab at potty training. Let's hope it takes this time.

Ewwwwww!

Muffin Man noticed tonight that Aladdin and Jasmin kiss with their mouths open. And now he wants to.

How do you explain to a loving three-year-old that it's not appropriate to soul kiss your parents?

Hold it right there, buster.

Every day, before we leave daycare for home, I need to give Muffin Man a pat down.

That boy has a passion for collecting. Doesn't matter what, if it can fit in his pocket, he's taking it home. Rocks, currently, are his favorite, followed closely by little toy cars. The toy cars are appearing less often 'cause daycare has FINALLY started to ban toys-from-home.

If I don't pat him down, we'll find things in the dryer. Rocks, flowers (he had a whole bouquet in his pockets, I swear), paper towels, toys. So far, I've managed to avoid letting crayons get in there, we'll see how long that lasts.

So today was a breakthrough...I sent him to school in clothes that had no pockets, no pockets at all. Aha! I thought. I've outsmarted you this time! And then he took off his pull-up and a rock fell out.

Laura started it:

Laura wrote this post about famous people to whom she has sold pants. Well, I've never sold pants, but I've sold ice cream, cookies, movie tickets (cashier/manager at the King's Court in Pgh, now defunct, and manager at Loews in NYC) and books. So here's my list of famous people to whom I have sold sundries.

Ice Cream and Cookies (at David's Cookies in Greenwich Village, now defunct.):
Ric Ocasik

Movie tickets/passes:
Jennifer Beals
George Romaro
Rob Lowe
Chef Brocket
Gene Anthony Ray

Books from Booklink, now defunct:
Andrea Dworkin and Philip Larkin
Paul Auster
Steve Buscemi

Books from the Traveler's Bookstore, now defunct:
Victoria Tennent

Books from Murder Ink:
Kathleen Turner
Barbara Grizzuti Harrison
Robert Crais
Lawrence Block

People I've Bumped Into on the Street, Sat Next to on the Subway, Lived Upstairs From, Was Friends with their Children:
Cynthia Harris
Peter Schickele
F. Murray Abraham
Jennifer Connelly
Jack Nicholson
Mandy Patinkin
Jaye Davidson

Never Eat Anything Bigger Than Your Head

That's Muffin Man's motto.

Perpetually Pregnant is talking about the pluses and minuses of breast-feeding. And since MM refused catagorically to breast-feed, I felt unequal to the task of commenting there. However, Perpetually Pregnant also mentioned pumping and that is a subject I can speak to.

I pumped for nine months. My "office" at work was a cubicle. I was responsible for finding a quiet, comfortable, private place to express myself. I used empty offices (my boss' while he was in meetings, mostly), empty conference rooms, disused storage closets, bathroom stalls (had to go to a different building to find one with an outlet), and a "lounge" with no door that was in a women's restroom on the third floor of the other building. You'd think that with so many women in the work place this wouldn't be such a pain in the ass.

Anyways, what made it bearable was the hands-free pumping attachments for the Medela (you've got to buy their bra to use it) which enabled me to read while pumping. Which may explain why I still leak a bit (books as let-down cues...hmmm.)

The best part about pumping exclusively is that you don't have to be open for business at 2 in the morning. Mr. Spock took that shift when I went back to work, since he works from home (lucky dog). The worst thing is the feeling of missing out, somehow, on that special bond and, of course, the lack of opportunity to piss people off by nursing in public.

Why does this keep happening? UPDATED

UPDATE: the article I linked to below is actually from 2003. Sorry. The story Mr. Spock told me about is here. I apologize for the error. But it actually makes my point even more valid. This still keeps happening, people.

Today my Mr. Spock told me about yet another child who died after being left in a car. According to the article there were 36 in 2003 alone.

Here's the thing. How does this happen? How can a person NOT BE AWARE that there is a baby or toddler in the car with them? DON'T THEY CHECK? It's not like this isn't publicised EVERY FLIPPING TIME IT HAPPENS!

It's hot out. Every time I get out of the car, I check. EVERY TIME. Before I lock the car, I check again. EVERY TIME.

Okay. End of rant. For now.

Apparently, reading isn't fundamental

Phantom Scribbler has a school reminiscence which reminded me of my fifth grade teacher.

In general, this teacher was cool - she taught us about critical viewing of advertisements, she introduced us to Holly Near's music, she had us writing poetry and stuff. But....

I may have told you folks once or twice that I like to read.

I like to read a lot. I mean I read often, in bulk. I also love to read.

I'm like Scrooge McDuck - I love to dive into it like a porpoise, burrow through it like a gopher, toss it up and let it hit me on the head. But where he's talking about money, I'm talking about the printed word.

Ms. Fifth Grade Teacher was worried that I was hurting my friends' feelings because I wasn't playing with them enough. Because during my free time at school I would read. Nevermind that I played with them outside of school and during recess and all that crap, and nevermind that my friends didn't mind AT ALL, I was spending too much time with my fictional friends and not enough time with the real ones.

So new rule: little miss Mystery Mommy could use only 15 minutes of free time to read. All other "free" time had to be spend interacting with the other kids in the class.

That was really the start of my reading disorder. I would sneak books. I hid them in my desk, open to the page I was reading and slide it out during class time when I was done doing whatever work I needed to do (not a lot in that school). I stopped doing homework, I played less with friends after school. I would take books out at recess and my friends would cover for me. I was a classic binge reader. I guess I still am. I read the last Harry Potter book in one sitting. I can read and walk down a busy New York Street at the same time. I'm a bookaholic and I'm proud of it.

So, did I ever forgive Ms. Fifth Grade Teacher? Uh-huh. She stayed in touch with my mom and we all had dinner together when I was 25. "You're the same age I was when I taught you!" she said. In that moment, all was forgiven.

APL's Concert Meme : UPDATED

Angry Pregnant Lawyer just posted a huge list of concerts she's been to. Here's my (somewhat shorter) list.

The Weavers
Holly Near (2 x)
Pete Seeger (lots)
Arlo Gutherie (2 x)
Rick Springfield (7th grade with my friend Lisa. Second row from the top on the upper balcony. The girls behind us had a banner that said, "We Love You Rick!")
Duran Duran
Bob Dylan/Tom Petty
Bonnie Raitt/Lyle Lovett
Red Clay Ramblers
Peter, Paul & Mary
Squeeze
Peter Gabriel
Hall & Oates
The Proclaimers
Sting
REM/10,000 Maniacs
Dave Matthews Band/Freedy Johnston
Laurie Anderson (2x)
The Flying Karamazov Brothers (7 x. Does this count as a concert? They do play music. My favorite show of theirs is "Juggling and Cheap Theatrics")

The Clear Water River Revival (Pete Seegar, Holly Near, The Flying Karamazov Brothers, Arlo Gutherie, etal)
LollaPalooza (Green Day, Beastie Boys, etal)

I'm sure I'm forgetting a few.

I woulda gone to see the Police on their Synchronicity tour, but they were playing out at the Meadowlands and my mom thought I was too young to go by myself and she didn't want to drive all the way out there. "You'll see them next time", she said. To her credit, she tried to make up for it by paying for my ticket to see Sting. And don't we all need a story akin to "My mom threw out my extremely valuable comic book collection."?

UPDATED 6/8/05: OMIGOD! How could I have forgotten Christine Lavin & The Four Bitchin' Babes (6x altogether)??

Am I right to feel offended?

By the Marketplace report this morning about turning off the WiFi at a coffee shop in the northwest in an effort to "encourage dialog"?

I mean, what do they think we have here? The blogosphere, listservs, usenet...these are all the great-grand-children of the original coffee houses. Where else outside of universities are there discussions of all sorts going on at the intellectual levels that can be found on the internet? Take just the links to the right -->

A Little Pregnant, Brooklyn Girl, Bitch PhD and many others are discussing Reproductive Rights (abortion, adoption, IVF and associated assisted reproductive technology). Many, many links are to blogs that often talk about the war, class, religion, gay rights, euthenasia, Sudan, sex education, morality and television programming, commercialization and television programming, consumerism, guilt over living in wealthy nations where people go hungry and homeless.

I was especially annoyed by the reporter bringing up that old standard -- the internet isolates us. Hello? It my imagination or did APL and I not just get together with our kids this past weekend? I'm a regular reader of bloggers from all over the US and Canada, of people with differing viewpoints. The one thing you all have in common is I think you write well. And some of y'all read my blog too. In what way are we isolating ourselves? I would say that we would be more isolated if we were NOT utilizing the vast resources of the internet.

Sheesh.

End of rant.

The What if...Meme

I caught this one from Phantom Scribbler again.

Here's how the game works. Below are a series of statements. I choose five and complete them, then "tag" three more people to do the same.

The statements are:
If I could be a scientist
If I could be a farmer
If I could be a psychologist
If I could be a librarian
If I could be an inn-keeper
If I could be a professor
If I could be a writer
If I could be a llama-rider
If I could be a bonnie pirate
If I could be an astronaut
If I could be a world famous blogger
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world
If I could be married to any current famous political figure

If I could be a farmer, I would raise coffee, pineapples and bananas on Kauai.
If I could be an inn-keeper, I would run a B&B next to Kee Beach on Kauai.
If I could be a librarian, I would run the lovely new library in Princeville on Kauai.
If I could be a bonnie pirate, I would sail the seven seas, marauding slavers' ships and come back to my base on Kauai.
If I could be a scientist, I would be a botanist and get a grant to study flowers on Kauai.

Hmmmm....it may be time for a vacation.

Once again, I don't know if anyone out there hasn't been hit with this stick so if you haven't done this one yet, and you want to...Consider yourself hit!

The Nurse

Okay, so the nurse.

The nurse comes in to the delivery room (not the operating room, but the softly lit birthing room) and has a check list she wants to go over. I'm in labor at this point, so not in the best of moods. Mr. Spock is being very together, except he's just called three sets of parents and is a little on edge.

Nurse: Do you know the sex of the baby?
Us: Boy
Nurse: Do have a name yet?
Us: [Muffin Man's Name]
Nurse: Will he be getting circumcised?
Us: No.
Nurse: Will you be needing a lactation consultant?
Us: Uhhhhh, yes?
Nurse: Do you have a pediatrician?
Us: [Muffin Man's pediatrician group]
Nurse: Who will be doing his circumcision?
Us: He's not getting circumcised.
Nurse: Right. What religion are you?
Mr. Spock: I was raised Catholic.
Me: I'm Jewish.
Nurse: Okay! That's it! (Walks out)
Us: ...hmmmm....
Me: Go get her back here! Make sure she's not getting a Mohel!

Book Meme

Phantom Scribbler agreed to hit me with this meme stick. Amazon is being very slow today, I'll add links to books later, okay?

Number of books I own: Over 1000 just in my bedroom. And that's after selling a huge bunch and giving even more away. I gave away most of my young adult books to my niece and nephew, with the understanding that they'll send 'em back to Muffin Man when he's old enough.
I collected a ton of books when I was working at Murder Ink, and before that when I was working at Booklink, now defunct. So in the library downstairs I have about 100 signed first editions and advance readers copies, in my room I have more first editions (not signed) and a huge bunch of paper backs. Some of my paperbacks are stripped copies (books the store wasn't selling, the covers are stripped off and sent back to the publisher, the rest of the book is supposed to be thrown away). To be honest, these are some of my favorites -- and they are now out of print for the most part, I never would have discovered them if we hadn't been culling them out of the shelves.

The last book I bought: It hasn't arrived yet. Undead & Unemployed by Mary Janice Davidson which is the sequel to

The last book I read: Undead and Unwed. Very funny, light-hearted take on the vampire myth. And yes, that is truly the last book I read, since Mr. Spock was Muffin Man's designated reader yesterday.

Five books that mean a lot to me: Just five? Oh dear.
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. Makes me cry every time.
A Little Princess by Frances Hodgsen Burnett. First character I met who loves books as much as I do. And aside from ALP, The Secret Garden, and Little Lord Fauntleroy, did you know she wrote books for grown-ups too?
Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh. Glimpses into the secret lives of neighbors. I loved the man with all the cats.
Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen. Best first line of any book ever.
Dead Heads by Reginald Hill. This was the first I ever read by him. His writing is so wonderful.

I don't know off hand of anyone who hasn't done this one. Maybe you, Jenn?

Lessons learned.

Reminder to self: Check the outdoor temperature before walking with Muffin Man to the unshaded SwingsAndSlides.

Even though we brought water with us and stopped to have many drinks, he was hot and flushed by the time we got there and had no energy to play. And there are no shaded benches to sit on and he doesn't like sitting on the grass (too tickley and he thinks ants will crawl into his pull-up. I blame the "Quartermaster's Store" song. There are ants, ants, crawling in the pants at the store...)

So we headed back and got ice-cream, but it was a looooonnnnnngggg time before his cheeks went back to a normal color.

You guys would not believe...

...how absolutely adorable Angry Boy is. That's right, APL, AB, Muffin Man & I all went to the Leesburg Animal Farm Park together this morning and a good time was had by all.

AB's so cute! He fed all the animals and was so adventurous. Muffin Man was very impressed by how big "That Little Boy" is.

MM also fed the animals (his first time since the pig tried to eat his fingers last year) and rode on the pony. We all went on the wagon ride to feed the ducks, geese and fish.

APL is just like her blog, super nice, super intelligent, and very pretty. We're going to get together again next month.

We spent about an hour and a half at the park, wandering around, looking at the animals and watching AB run. He has the cutest, most wiggly-butted run. MM showed off his spelling and counting skills (at my instigation).

During the wagon ride, we admired the slip&slide that was in the yard of the starter castle next door to the park and afterwards MM & AB played on some slides that were in the park.

All in all, a lovely day.

The Birth Story Meme

Sometime around the middle of month 7, I couldn't fit behind the steering wheel of my Ford Taurus anymore (short legs, distant pedals, you get the picture). So Mr. Spock was driving me to work everyday and on our way, we'd stop off at the Silver Diner for breakfast.

On Friday, February 1st, we walked into Silver Diner and my water broke (but not GUSH, just enough to wet my pants), so I got into the dry pants I was always carrying around with me. I took stock. Was I in labor? No. Okay. If I didn't eat now, would I get a chance to eat later at the hospital? No. Okay.

So we stayed and had breakfast. And then, since we were really close to where I work, we went there. I called my doctor's office, told them what had happened and asked permission to go home and get my stuff for the hospital. They asked, "Labor pains?" No. "Okay, go on home, get your stuff and then come right to the hospital."

So, I said goodbye to everyone at work. Gathered up a few things, went home, went to the hospital.

Doctor checked me, no labor. No dilation. Actually, no amniotic fluid. Hmmmm....did another slide and found just a smidge of fluid. It seems I had a slow leak from the top. It was a week before my due date, so he said "Well, we could send you home and induce you tomorrow if you don't start labor, or we could induce you today." I chose today, MS agreed. MS called our parents to let them know.

Machines, pitocin. No labor. Upped the pitocin and broke my water (wow! That's a lot of fluid!) and.....the contractions started and went off the charts. MS rubbed my back. He was so great, he is the very best husband in the world.

Eventually I asked for an epidural and I gotta tell you, I am still in love with my anesthetist.

Remind me to tell you later about the nurse who kept asking about our plans to circumcise Muffin Man. It's a hoot.

Now, I've been in labor a while and my doctor comes in to check on me and Muffin Man has moved two centimeters in the wrong direction. He's digging in his heels. He does not want to come out.

My doctor says, "What are your feelings right now about having a c-section?" I'm fine with it. MS is fine with it. The doctor tells us that an operating room should be open in a few hours, and if no progress had been made at that point, we could do a c-section then. Fine. MS calls our parents to give them an update.

So at 9:01 PM Friday, February 1 Muffin Man was born by c-section. My biggest memories of being in the operating room are:

1. My first sight of my son. He was on the table across from me getting suctioned and all that and his legs were spread-eagled and all I could really see were his bright purple testicles. Wow. And he was so pissed off. "Put! Me!Back! Put! Me! Back!"

2. The doctor and his assistants counting over and over, sponges, clamps, etc. 23 sponges, btw.

Afterwards, they let me hold Muffin Man as they wheeled us from the recovery room to our room on the maternity ward. He was so perfect and small and he had decided maybe it wasn't so bad being out in the world.

Muffin Man Eats a Fortune Cookie

You are a bundle of energy, always on the go.

Ain't it the truth!

What brought all this on?

Why am I so nostalgic this week?

A tune.

Dee da deeda dee dee da da
Dee da dee da dee da.

For the first time since we've lived in this neighborhood, an ice cream truck has come to our cul de sac. The ice cream truck! Nostalgia on wheels. And one seems to have actually ventured out into the land of the perfect lawn and found us.

The first time, I thought I was hearing things. That insidious melody had to be wishful thinking but then I saw it! The tell-tale white truck with the garrish and gaudy pictures of the most delectable treats plastered over the side. And then, I thought it was a fluke. But it returned the next day and the next. The truck has found a hidden nest of children and will not forget us again.

Taking a stroll down memory avenue

So much of my old neighborhood has changed. Over there is the chic hair salon in the place where Little Things used to be, back when they actually sold little things - doll house furniture, those cute fuzzy mice that wore little costumes, teeny-tiny farm animals...Now Little Things has three stores, one selling clothes and jewelry, one selling trendy "brainy baby" toys, and one selling I don't know what, and none of them are fun to shop in. Here's the weird little jewelry store where the ice cream store used to be. Over there is the Japanese place that used to be a French place that used to be a diner and before that they sold clothes. The realtor that used to be the Purity Diner, the many realtors that used to be actual places you could shop in. The pizza place that used to be Carvel's. The shop that was a newstand until the owner was shot and has since been a long line of failed restaurants. The butchers, the shoe repair shop, the fish market, the deli.

Some other shops have been here forever: The Clay Pot (but didn't they used to be across the street?) The health food store (Back to the Land, they took over the store next door, too.), Zuzu's Petals (it used to be called Growing Things, but it's the same owner. Beautiful plants and flowers.), Tarzian Hardware, the pharmacy on the corner of Garfield, Snooky's Pub, that little grocery store next to the weird defunct bar, Leaf and Bean.

Many of the new stores have the neighborhood rejoicing, some of the ones that are gone will never be mourned.

I wonder if my son will feel this way about our current neighborhood 33 years from now.